Changed
by whatthefuckisupkyle
Summary: When Nina Cameron comes back from being away the whole summer, she discovers just how much things changed. Will she be able to handle it?
1. Information

_Author's Note_

This story is kind of a rewritten version of my _Only Human_ story that I published back in 2016. Rereading the story, I couldn't help to cringe at some points. I wanted to write a Twilight story that was fitting of my current writing style, after two years of *hopefully* improving. This is a **different** story, but it is heavily inspired by _Only Human_, and you will find very similar plot lines and dialogue, etcetera...

I'm hoping this one will make me not cringe AS MUCH as the other one. My fingers are crossed.

Enjoy.


	2. 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Twilight Saga

* * *

1 - late august

It was rare to see the sun in La Push, but it was sunny on my first day back.

I wanted to be angry at coming back to La Push after my summer in Tanzania. I missed the nearly unbearable heat, the dry grasslands and open sky. I missed the people, most of all. The group that I got put into made me feel very fortunate. When we weren't laying foundation, plastering, or painting, we were spending time at any local hotspot.

It was the greatest summer of my life. As soon as I arrived back in La Push, Washington - the cloudy, temperamental, mountain range I was so used to - I felt the itch to get back together with my volunteer group in a different location. I never thought senior year would come, but here it was. I thought I would enjoy it, but, really, I couldn't wait for it to be over to get out of La Push again.

The fact that it was the sunny that day I came back felt cruel. I knew my feelings about La Push and how badly I had always wanted to get out and explore, but when it was sunny, it looked like a completely different town.

The soft sunlight that wasn't blocked by the tall, very green trees, scattered across the dirt that surrounded every house on the reserve. Instead of the battering of rain, the only sound was a gentle rustling of trees or the sound of some birds or any other small animal. It was serene, beautiful, and so relaxing.

I walked up to the sizeable, wooden house. I felt a slight chill on my bare legs. I was wearing my shorts, still in heavy denial of being back. But the more I looked around, the more I started to feel the relaxing, comfortable emotions run over me. I resented that a little bit.

Maybe being back in La Push wasn't going to be as painful as I thought it was going to be. If it was, at least the company was good.

The front door swung open and I barely had the time to blink before Kim's body rammed into mine. Her arms wrapped around me tightly - tight enough for me to struggle for breath.

"You're back!"

I wrapped my arms around her too, figuring that my struggle to breathe was worth it. I chuckled with what breath I had left, patting her back. "It's good to see you too, Kim."

She pulled away, her smile was wide, teeth white, and cheeks red. She looked happy and so beautiful, just like she always did. Growing up around the reserve - around my cousin and his friends - I found a little bit harder to make friends with other girls, but Kim was an easy friend. I didn't know how to describe it other than we just clicked. I had to admit, though, I always felt a little bit insecure around her. She was so pretty, it was hard not to. She could get anyone she wanted.

"There's my favourite cousin."

Kim stepped aside, displaying Jared's full frame to me. I was supposed to say something funny back, but I couldn't even manage. We used to be similar height, but even from a ten feet away, I could tell he was towering above me. His arms used to be skinny and flimsy and his lankiness was always target of the other boys making fun of him. His arms were bigger than I had ever thought they would be. I was shocked. Instead of what I thought I was going to see, I got a tall and muscular person I didn't recognize.

He stepped closer, his friendly and smiling face being the only thing remaining the same. "You're supposed to say something funny back, remember?" He stopped a couple feet from me, displaying his tall stature. He didn't have a shirt on, just a stupid pair of jeans that were cut at the knees. His hair was cut short enough for it to stick up in the front and look normal. When he crossed his arms, I noticed the tattoo on his outer arm, just below his shoulder.

I shook my head, wondering if I was imagining it all. "Jared..." I looked up at him for the first time ever, a weird feeling taking over me. "What happened to you?"

He chuckled, just as I expected he would. Just like he always used to, he wrapped his arm around me and rubbed the top of my head, messing up my hair. "Summer happened. Things changed, kid."

The weight of his surprisingly heavy arm was hard on my shoulders. The heat that was coming off of his was surprising. Despite it, I looked up at him, studying him still. "Things change? Things c_hange_? You don't even look like yourself anymore."

He just smiled. "I am a lot better looking, aren't I?"

I shook my head, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of laughing. I shook his arm from me, walking through the front door of the house I would call home, despite the fact that it was Jared's house and not mine.

Kim appeared at my side, her arm looping through mine. "I know it's a shock, Nina, but it just happened really suddenly."

Jared appeared on the other side of Kim, his arm resting on her shoulder. "A lot of things changed since you've been gone." His hand rubbed her shoulder affectionately and he smiled down at her.

I expected Kim to shove him away and laugh, like she always did. Instead, her hand resting on top of his and she smiled back at him. Her eyes shifted to me, still smiling dreamily. "Jared and I are together now."

I took a subconscious step away from the two of them. I always knew they had their little flirtation, but I never would have thought... "I never would have thought..." I looked between the two of them. They looked happy. I tried to smile. "Is there anything else you guys wanna spring on me?"

One of the veins in Jared's neck popped out as he seemed to tense. "No."

I decided to ignore that. I turned and walked into the kitchen, making my way to the fridge. Jared's parents made the best freshly squeezed orange juice. It was a shame they didn't have normal jobs that kept them around more. I could've really used more orange juice.

I grabbed a glass, watching as the orange liquid filled it. "You guys better not do anything gross around me." When I looked up at the two of them, they were wrapped up in each other's arms, giggling about something. "Like that."

Kim laughed, pushing Jared away from her. She took a seat at one of the stools on the other side of the counter from where I was. "Oh, come on, Nina. Don't tell me you spent your whole summer with a cold bed."

"Ew," Jared said quietly, but loud enough for me to hear. He ignored my glare, taking the other stool next to Kim. "I don't want to hear about that."

I smiled at his discomfort, but decided not to push him. He seemed like he could put me in a headlock much easier now. "This summer was amazing. I was really focused on the tasks at hand." I looked pointedly at Kim. "Not other things."

Kim just smiled regardless. "Well, at least you're back. I'm sure all the boys will be happy to see the you."

"I missed them." I suddenly felt a pain in my chest. I didn't want to admit it or make it obvious, but while I was off having a great summer, I desperately missed all my friends back home. Jared and Kim were my closest friends. It was weird without them. I missed the other boys too. "How's Embry and Quil?"

The funniest duo. The partners in crime. You rarely got one without the other.

"They're great," Jared said.

"If you thought Jared looks different -" Kim smiled giddily, like we were discussing our celebrity crushed or something. "Wait until you see Embry and Quil." Her giddy expression shifted to knowing. "I'm sure you'll find one of them handsome enough."

Quil and Embry were never bad-looking guys. From the way Kim was talking, I'm sure they were better looking now, but it didn't change the fact that they were a year younger than the three of us, as well as incredibly immature from what I remembered. They were great guys - great _f__riends_.

I put the glass back down on the counter, sighing lightly. "How's Jake?"

"He's good," Jared answered simply, looking at Kim as the two of us waited for her assessment.

She shook her head, hilariously seeming disappointing. "He's pretty much the same."

I couldn't help but chuckle. "You seem disappointed."

Kim's eyes widened as she tried to explain herself. "Well, he's already really good-looking, just imagine if -"

"Hey!" Jared tried to seem offended, though the wide smile on his face suggested otherwise.

Kim placed her hand on his cheek, smile mirroring his. "You know you're the most attractive one." Kim looked at me, making a face that made me laugh. She quickly turned back to Jared, who was sporting an actually offended face. She laughed, putting her other hand on his other cheek. "I'm just kidding!" She leaned close and I looked away for a moment, waiting for them to be done kissing.

I heard Kim sigh and then I looked back at the pair. "Jared's the most attractive one now? Doubt it." I thought back in my mind, remembering the crush I used to have on Sam. After seeing him and his girlfriend Emily together, the crush faded away pretty fast. Still, I would've said he was the most attractive of all the guys I had grown up around. Maybe it was the fact that he was older and all the boys looked up to him, I didn't know. I didn't have a crush on him anymore, but I couldn't say I didn't find him attractive.

"You're thinking of Sam, aren't you?"

I looked at Jared, trying to hold back a smile. "Just reminiscing."

Jared was looking at me just as I was looking at him. He seemed to try and hold back a smile at first, but then he let it go. His face and mischievous tendencies were the couple of things that seemed to stay the same. "You forgot Paul."

Oh, I remembered, but I didn't ask on purpose. Paul Lahote was not someone I liked to ask about, talk about, or think about. He had been apart of my life my entire life solely because of Jared. If it weren't for Jared, I was sure that Paul and I would've never been friends, if you could even call us that.

Kim piped up, seeming excited. "He changed too."

My eyebrows rose in feign interest. "Really? Wow. Can't wait to see."

Kim tilted her head, eyes narrowing. "Nina -"

I pushed myself away from the counter, walking closer to the front door. I needed to breathe. I needed fresh air. "Let's do something fun, please." I opened the door, feeling like lukewarm air on me. I turned around, seeing Jared and Kim emerge from the house. I started to smile. "Race you guys to the tree house!"

The trusty, old tree house. Jared's dad had built it a really long time ago. When Jared, Paul, and I had outgrown it, it became the checkpoint for us meeting up or racing or just getting away for a second or two. It was a little deeper into the woods than our parents were comfortable with us going, but we could run the trail and back with our eyes closed.

My legs carried me through the forest, weaving through the trees. I felt stronger than I did before the summer. All that manual labor was working in my favour, or at least I thought until I saw Jared appear beside me, running with ease, much faster than myself.

Tall, muscular, _and_ now a good runner.

I had really missed a lot. And despite me resenting it a little bit, I did miss La Push and I was glad to be back.

* * *

Out of all the houses we could go to for a 'family dinner', Emily and Sam's felt like the best choice. There was such a warming and friendly air in the house that attracted pretty well all of the boys. Jared told me that it had become to one place everyone got together all the time. He also told me that Emily got a lot better at cooking and baking, which I was sure contributed greatly to the fact that everyone migrated here.

I was leaning up against the counter, next to the warm oven that held the muffins Emily and I had just finished baking, asking questions that Jared would struggle to answer, due to the fact that he was a nonchalant guy.

"Why don't they hangout anymore?"

I was shocked to learn that Embry, Quil, and Jake didn't hang out anymore. They used to be so close. In fact, it sounded like Jake was the only one who wasn't having as much fun as every one else.

Emily sighed, folded her thin arms over her chest. She shook her head, trying to give me an encouraging look, but it fell flat. "It's not like they aren't friends, it's just..." She hesitated for a moment. "Things changed. Quil and Embry changed."

I scoffed. "It just seems like Jacob's the only one left without short hair and a tattoo." I crossed my arms too, asking her more questions I knew Jared could never answer. "What is up with that? Sam, Jared, Paul, Quil, Embry..." I shook my head, the confusion starting to make my head spin. I had a couple of days to think it over and it still didn't make sense. "They all changed, and so _fast_ too."

"Oh, Nina." Emily pushed herself off the counter, taking a couple steps to cross the kitchen to me. She put a comforting arm around me. "The boys might've changed, but they're still the same at heart."

I looked at her, brows still furrowed. "But _why_ did they change?"

She gave me a look, like she had something to tell me - something she wanted to tell me, but she didn't. Instead, she said, "I wish I could tell you, but it's really not my place."

I was more confused. "What do you -"

The opening of the front door was sudden and loud.

Emily smiled widely, slipping away from me, walking toward Sam, who was quickly making his way toward her. The two of them met and Sam put his arms around her, squeezing her tightly and kissing her. When they pulled away, he smiled at me.

"Little Nina."

I smiled back, feeling the heat in my cheeks. He was tall, shirtless, and still just as handsome. "Hi, Sam." I welcomed his hug, being squished against his hard chest. We pulled apart after a short moment, gesturing to the muffin. "I hope everyone's hungry. Emily and I made muffins."

Emily appeared at his side, putting an arm around him. "When are they not hungry?"

They looked just like Jared and Kim. I didn't think I could see two people so happy to be together and then I saw Jared and Kim, and now Sam and Emily. I was starting to feel uneasy, though incredibly happy for them.

More noise at the door made me look at the boys piling in, all shirtless, all wearing stupid jean cut-offs. Emily and Sam moved to greet everyone. I moved to follow them, but the beeping from the oven stopped me.

I grabbed a couple of oven mitts, slipping them onto my hands and pulling out the delicious looking muffins. What better way to see the people I missed than with muffins in hand. I couldn't think of anything better.

I wasn't paying attention, looking down the delicious muffins. Even with the oven mitts on, the heat was intense. I quickened my pace to get to the living room, running directly into a tall body. I didn't run into them as much as the muffin pan did. "Oh, my god!" The panic came to me quickly, feeling the burn as if I had done it to myself.

It was painful.

I put the muffins on the counter, flicking the mitts off to grab the cold, wet cloth hanging from the sink faucet. I turned around, seeing then that it was Paul. I walked over to him, pressing the cold cloth against the straight, irritated, red line on his abdomen. "I'm sorry." I let out a breath and look up at him, really looking at him for the first time since before summer.

He was so tall. He wasn't quite as tall as Jared, but he was still a lot taller than he was the last time I had seen him, as well as a lot taller than I was. Like Jared, his dark hair was cut short and he was sporting that rounded tattoo on his arm. His arms were big and tight, almost looking like his skin could barely cover the muscles underneath. I felt the firmness of his abdomen as I held the cloth against him. As my eyes traveled up his chest, I was presently surprised to see that his face was pretty well the same - dark eyes, sharp features, and an undeniable coldness about him.

He was just looking at me, mouth slightly parted. I watched as his dark eyes looked all over my face, finally meeting my eyes. When our eyes met, I expected him to say something, but he didn't.

I felt my chest grow hot, as well as my stomach. I smiled, sure that it looked a little nervous. "Come on now, I said I was sorry."

His big, warm hand landed over mine on the cloth. When I pulled my hand out from under him and took a step back, he seemed to come out of whatever far away state he was in. He smirked, his eyes brightening at my discomfort. "This is the welcome I get?"

My reaction came quickly and easily. I was used to it, after all.

I found myself smirking as I grabbed the oven mitts again, sliding them over my hands. "Well, maybe you should watch where you're going, Lahote." I looked at him, getting used to what I was looking at before grabbing the muffins and walking around him. When I emerged in the living space, I didn't have much time to put the muffins down before I felt Embry's arms around me.

"Nita Cameron." He hugged me tightly, shocking me at how strong I was. After Jared and Paul I shouldn't have been so shocked. He pulled away at I got a good look at him. He looked similar to Jared and Paul. Taller than Paul, shorter than Jared, but a lot more slender than both of them, in true Embry fashion. His hands were on my shoulders, shaking me slightly. "We missed you around here."

Quil came out from behind him, matching in height, but pretty much nothing else. He was big in the shoulders and massive in the arms. The wild curls on top of his head almost balanced him out, but not quite. He hugged me too, just as tight. "We really did miss you."

Jared, sitting at the table, already digging into a muffin. "They're over exaggerating."

Embry smiled at me, always suggestive. "I'm not."

I laughed at him, shoving him by the shoulder. He didn't budge at all, taking it upon himself to sit at the table and take a muffin. Quil and Sam joined them at the table. I felt a hand on my lower back, moving me slightly. Paul walked past me, joining the other boys at the table.

I looked at all of them, just as shocked and confused as I had been the last couple of days. What the hell was going on?


	3. 2

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Twilight Saga

* * *

2 - early september

I walked further from the house and closer to the shop; the rickety, old shop proving to be just as rickety and old as last time. Jake said he was going to fix it up but I suspected he was too busy fixing stuff up inside of the shop, rather than fixing the shop itself.

I got to the wide doorway, placing my hand on the dirty wall and sticking my head inside. The whole shop was lit up by whatever sunlight we had in La Push. If it was cloudy, you were just screwed, I guess. Thankfully for me, it was decently sunny that day, though it didn't help that much. The longer I looked into he shop, the more each object seemed to be unidentifiable.

"Jake?"

Suddenly, the very obvious outline of a man appeared. Jake walked further into the light, a smile on his face, arms open. "Nina."

I smiled widely, wrapping my arms around him and squeezing. "Hey stranger."

Out of all the boys, Jake had the kindest heart. He was a nice person who wanted what was best for every one else, really only thinking of himself last. All of the boys had a good heart, but Jake was the most open with his. Paul always said that would be his downfall - his open heart. Paul was also an asshole.

When we pulled away from each other, I felt the relief of seeing is dark, course, long hair. Long hair, no tattoos, soft facial features, and no strange body transformation. I let out a breath, patting his shoulder. "It's so good to see you, Jake."

"It's good to see you too." He stepped away from me, walking back into the shop, sitting down on a stool and picking up a tool in his hand, starting back on what looked like the bare parts of a dirt bike. "When did you get back?"

"About four days ago."

"How was Tanzania?"

"It was amazing." I tried to keep myself from getting carried away just thinking about it. I watched Jake fixing up the bike, feeling a sudden sadness. I wondered if he had spent all summer doing this instead of doing fun things with the boys. "How was your summer?"

"Fine." He shrugged, barely glancing back at me. "I'm guessing you've been with Jared and Paul." He paused for a long moment, yanking on one of the parts of the bike frame hard. "And Quil and Embry."

I took the other stool next to him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "They miss you, Jake." They hadn't told me specifically, but you could sense that Quil and Embry knew that one third of their little group was missing. "A lot changed, but they're still the same at heart." I took that one straight from Emily, finding it to be one of the more comforting things to say to make sense of this whole situation.

Jake let go out the wrench he was holding and it clanked against the ground. He turned on his stool, facing me. He looked angry at first and then he quickly started to look pained. "I don't know what happened. They just changed." His face went back to angered. "Now they're all just Sam's lackeys."

It was true that Jared, Paul, Quil, and Embry seemed strangely devoted to Sam. I knew Sam was authoritative, but it was like everything he said, went, and the boys just listened with no complaints.

I struggled to find the right words, thinking about what Emily might've said, but I couldn't quite get there. "I'm sorry I don't have an explanation, Jake." My eyes found their way to the clock high up on the wall. "Why don't you come cliff diving with us at La Push beach?"

"You're gonna jump off those things?"

Cliff diving in La Push was notoriously dangerous. It was just the side of a mountain that was jagged enough to form a platform for people to jump off of. There were different levels of cliffs, most people sticking to the lowest one, mostly because the combination of the height and the freezing water was too painful to be enjoyable. No matter how sunny it was, the water from the ocean always seemed to be a harsh, biting cold.

"God, no," I answered, quickly thinking after my reflexive answer. "I mean, I have my wet suit and the lowest cliff isn't that high." I shrugged. "I'll decide when I get there."

Jake shook his head. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

I laughed, standing from the stool and walking back toward the opening of the shop. "Sam's not coming. It'll just be the guys and me." I turned around once I was a step outside the shop. "You should come."

"I don't have a death wish." He smiled a little, hitting my arm. "Thanks though."

I watched him walk back into the shop and I decided to leave it. I walked away from the shop and the Black household, back toward the forest to cut through back to get to Jared's place faster. After a good ten minutes of walking, I got to Jared's house, seeing all the boys around Paul's truck.

I approached, shaking my head at Quil and Embry. They nodded, looking sad for a moment before Embry slapped his hands together.

"Let's go!"

All of them let out a couple of 'whoops' and cheers. Paul and Jared got into the truck, Quil, Embry, and I crawling into the back. There was a middle seat between Paul and Jared in the actual truck, but none of us wanted to squeeze between the two of them, so we took to the truck bed.

The drive was about fifteen minutes. The trees got a little sparse, the air got salty and a little colder. We reached the small 'parking lot' connected to the beach. We all piled out, the air a little colder than I anticipated. The boys patiently waited for me to put my wet suit on and after I was finished, I wrapped my towel around myself. The four shirtless boys, completely unfazed, ran toward the beach, heading to the trail. It was a decent hike up to the tallest cliff - short but steep.

When we reached the top, Quil and Embry ran out onto the rocky platform excitedly, immediately making me nervous. If they slip and fell, they'd be gone.

I wrapped the towel tighter around myself, looking out at the dark water below. "This is really high."

Jared walked up beside me, a weird looking smile on his face. "Hell yeah it is." He was so satisfied with himself to be standing up here. We used to come up here, but we would never dare to jump.

Paul appeared at my other side. Between the two of them, the ocean air didn't seem as cold. He looked over my head at Jared, a smug smile on his face. "See if you can keep us this time, Jare."

"Wait -" I chuckled, making Paul look down at me. My brows furrowed and the ridiculousness of what he was suggesting was making me nervous, but also wanting to laugh. "You guys aren't actually gonna -"

"Woohoo!" Embry ran right off the cliff, arms in the air. When he disappeared over the edge, Quil laughed loudly.

I knew they wouldn't let each other jump off the cliff if they knew they were going to die, but what the hell were they thinking? Embry was shirtless, with no protection from the cold.

The laughter of Quil, Jared, and Paul made me feel a little bit better. I shifted on my feet, staring out at the edge of the cliff. "You guys have done this before."

Quil looked over his shoulder at me, smiling wildly. "All summer, baby!" He looked forward again, running and then jumping right off the edge, just like Embry. There was no fear at all.

I got that feeling in my stomach like I wanted to do it. It was so stupid, I knew that. Jumping off that cliff would be like placing my hand directly on a hot burner - painful and avoidable. If they could do it shirtless, somehow, maybe it wasn't as bad as everyone said.

"So are we all going then?"

Jared looked at me with surprise. "Little Nina..." He laughed, walking closer to the edge of the cliff. "If you dare." He spun around without warning, cheering as he jumped off the edge of the cliff.

I let my towel fall away from me to sit on the rocky surface. "Here goes nothing, I guess."

Paul's hand latched onto my arm quickly and he yanked me back. He looked me in the eyes, saying a firm, "No way."

"What?" I felt the familiar heat of anger inside of me. If it was anyone but Paul I could've controlled myself. The fact that it was him made it a thousand times harder not to get angry. "Then what? You were all just gonna leave me up here?" I shook his grip. "If you guys can do it, why can't I?"

He was looking at me, not angry, but very serious. "It's not the same." He looked me over, as if surveying the integrity of my wet suit. Finally, he looked back at my face. "We'll go together."

My anger fell away fast. I had never seen Paul so concerned. He used to egg me on to do dangerous things. We both used to push and pull with no regard for each other's safety. It was a surprise, but a pleasant one.

"Ok, _mom_," I teased, stepping closer to the edge, looking over only to make myself way more nervous. I took a small step back, letting out a shaky breath.

Paul's tall, warming frame brushed up against mine. "Don't tell me you're gonna chicken out after all that." I turned to glare at him, only making him smile wider. He found it in himself to laugh, mostly at my glaring eyes. He reached down and took my hand in his. He turned and looked out at the ocean. "Come on, little chicken."

I stared at his profile. Maybe I had missed him more than I let on. That made me feel uneasy, considering he was an asshole who didn't deserve it. Regardless of how I felt about him in that moment, I needed him. I squeezed his hand tightly, taking a deep breath, jumping on my feet for a second. "Before I change my mind."

Paul didn't give me a whole lot of time to second guess myself, which I was thankful for. After counting down, we jumped off at the same time. Our hands lost each other at some point, but I didn't notice until I hit the water - the cold, cold water.

I swam to the surface quickly, taking in a deep breath as I reached it. I wiped the water from my eyes, looking around the see that Paul was only a couple feet from me, not shivering or out of breath like myself.

He had the same addicting, satisfied smile Jared had earlier. He shook his hair - probably mostly out of habit from when it was longer. "You alright?"

"All good." I swam closer to him and we both started toward the beach, my feet and hands feeling the tingling of the cold.

"You did well, chicken."

I would've been annoyed if I wasn't so cold. "You can't call me a chicken after that."

"I can call you what I want, Nina." He kept swimming, his strong arms working faster than mine ever would. He managed to flash me a smug smile. "I am the bigger, stronger, better-looking one after all."

I swam as fast as I could after him, placing my hands on his hard shoulders, pushing him down under the water. I swam past him. All the boys seemed invincible, so I wasn't too concerned with Paul.

He was back at my side in a matter of seconds. "Jesus, Nina, you could've killed me."

A little dramatic. It was my turn to be smug. "I thought you were the bigger, stronger one."

"Don't forget better-looking."

"Jury's still out." I felt the relief when my feet touched the sand. I waded through the dark water, looking over at Paul doing the same thing. "How are you not cold?" I let my eyes look him over. I watched the water drip off of his smooth skin and stick in the crevasses of his new muscles. I then looked away, not wanting his ego to get any bigger than it was.

"I'm just not," he said simply. He reached back, grabbing my hand once again, pulling me through the water until we reached the sand. I didn't know why he felt the need to help me, but I couldn't pretend I wasn't happy about it.

I walked onto the beach, wrapping my arms around myself, knowing that my towel was lonely at the top of the cliff. I looked back at the trail, watching as Embry, Quil, and Jared disappeared into the trees to do it all over again.

I liked jumping off of the cliff, but I didn't know if I needed to do it again. I did need my towel though.

I sighed, the exhaustion washing over me at the thought of hiking back up the trail just for my towel. "I left my towel up there." My shoulders slumped and I blinked slowly, almost not wanting to open them again.

The cold water was a wake up call, but now that we were out of it, I was tired. Hiking up to the cliff, swimming through the rough waves. I didn't want to be the boring one, but there was no way I could keep up with them.

I rubbed my cold hands together. "Can I sit in your truck?"

He scoffed. "Not in that wet suit, you can't."

If there was one thing Paul showed love and affection for it was his old, rust bucket of a truck. Paul called it charming. I called it old. To each their own. Regardless of what any one else thought of Paul's truck, he loved it and took care of it. That meant no crumbly foods, drinks, or, apparently, wet suits.

I couldn't resist the urge of rolling my eyes, so I didn't. "I'll throw it in the back."

"Fine, but no heat," Paul said, starting to job toward the trail to catch up with the other boys. "I'm serious, Nina. I don't have gas to waste."

"Yeah, yeah." I ran off in the opposite direction, toward Paul's truck. I quickly tugged my wet suit off, tossing it into the bed of the truck. The truck was unlocked with the keys in ignition, just like it always was. I sat in the middle of the fuzzy bench seat, shivering harshly.

It was probably twenty to thirty minutes later. I had stopped shivering so much by the time I heard their laughter, followed by the feeling of the truck bouncing from Quil and Embry jumped into the back.

The passenger door opened and Jared threw my towel in my face. He laughed, jumping in beside me, bumping his shoulder harshly against mine. "Pauly said you were cold." When I pulled the towel from my face, I could see his bottom lip jut out dramatically. "Was little baby cold?"

Paul seemed to find that funny because he laughed. Once both of them were done making fun of me, Paul started the truck and turned on the heat, which would take too long to start working.

It didn't really matter. By some miracle, sitting between the two of them was enough heat for me to stop shivering completely. We turned onto the road, Jared looking out the window, and Paul throwing his arm over the back of the the seat. The heat coming off of him intensified and I felt myself moving closer to him, but only slightly. I put my head back, feeling Paul's arm under my head. I closed my eyes, feeling warm, tired, and comfortable.

I couldn't remember the ride back.

* * *

There had been too many sunny days. I wasn't complaining, but it was suspicious. I figured I had to get the sun while I could.

I exited the house, feeling the breeze through my loose shorts. I knew I would warm up as soon as I started running, so I wasn't worried. It had been so long since I had gone for a run around the reserve. No headphones, my mom's old t-shirt, just me and nature. It was a good feeling, especially on a sunny day.

I closed the front door behind me, breaking into a jog as I set off toward the trees. Instantaneously, the fresh air and the sun made me feel better. I was a little bit stressed about school starting the next day. I was also a little bit stressed about my friends. I didn't want Jake to feel like he didn't have anyone. As for the rest of the boys, I was worried about what had happened to them - their sudden physical transformation and jumping off of cliffs.

So much had changed since I had been gone. I was feeling overwhelmed a bit. I needed the run.

When I came to the three different paths, I didn't hesitate to choose the far right one. I knew going deep into the woods had its dangers, but I had lived in Forks all my life and I felt comfortable with my decision. The further away from the sound of cars and people, the better.

I was running up and up. The ground got grassier and the trees got thicker and the felt hotter but more sparse due to the trees. I kept running upward, knowing that the steepness would end and I would reached a mostly flattened area that would be an easy run.

When I reached the top of the steep trail, I let out a couple of quick huffs, forcing myself to take deep breaths to steady myself. I opened my eyes after my deep breaths, startling myself to see a bear.

It looked like a massive bear at first, until I looked longer. I was completely still, frozen in place. I stopped moving, stopped breathing, and froze. I looked through widened eyes at the creature.

It looked like a wolf, but much, much bigger. It was taller than me, even though I was standing straight up. Huge skull, huge paws, and a muscular frame. It had short, thick brown hair, really dark grey hair around the eyes, which were darkened brown and staring directly at me. Its body was completely still, crouched slightly. It surprised me, but I think I had surprised it as well.

I was so panicked, I wasn't sure what to think. I was prepared to run into a deer. I knew a couple of tips if you encountered a bear. I even knew a little bit about mountain lions. I was not prepared to run into a gigantic wolf.

It stood straighter, displaying its full, intimidating size to me. Without realizing, I sucked in a breath and took a step back. The wolf seemed to notice. Looking into its eyes, it almost looked as if it was thinking. It then took a couple of steps back, turned, and ran off up the mountain.

I stood frozen until I heard the loud thumping far in the distance. The second that I could convince myself to, I started into a fast run, probably the fastest I had ever run. My heart was pounding so loud, it was all I could hear and feel.

I wanted to go to Jared's, but I knew that Sam's was closer, so that was where I went.

Time seemed to go by slowly, but maybe that was due to my sheer panic. I ran and ran, not feeling the ache in my legs until Sam's place came into view. I pushed harder, running toward the house, where the front door was already swung open. I ran in smoothly, seeing Sam and Jared.

They were standing close to each other, both looking tense. Sam's face looked a little red, like he had been yelling. Jared looked a different shade of red, like he was getting yelled at.

Sam looked at me, facial expression softening into something I would call comforting. He held his hands out, walking closer to me. When he reached me, his hands held my arms. "Nina -"

"There was a -" I struggled to catch my breath, but I needed to get it out. "A wolf, but it was _huge_! It was a wolf, but it wasn't!" The image of the creature was stuck in my mind as I tried to find the words to describe what I saw. "Like a massive, giant wolf."

Jared walked closer to me, a concerned look on his face. "Nina -"

Sam held up a hand and Jared stopped talking quickly. He led me to the chairs at the rounded table. He sat beside me and Jared sat beside him. He was so calm. How could he be so calm?

"Why am I the only one freaking out?" I questioned, still panicked. I looked between the two of them and then I realized that they knew. Someway, somehow, the information I was giving was not news to them. I felt my breaths slow and I started to calm. "What the hell is going on?"

Sam was the first to speak. His voice was low and calm. "Nina, you know all the legends of the Quileute tribe - how we used to be, how we came to be."

I knew everything about my tribe. I had no choice. We all went to school on the reserve, which meant we had a class dedicated to the ancient tribes and their stories, legends, and traditions. I knew that every one in a while, we got together for a tribe meeting, which consisted of a warm fire, good food, and Billy Black telling the story of the great Spirit Chief, Taha Aki. And I knew that Billy Black also told everyone that the tribe was descended from wolves.

I knew that story like the back of my hand. I had been hearing it since before I could remember.

_"The Quileute have been a small tribe since the beginning, but we have always had magic in our blood. We were great spirit warriors, shape-shifters that transformed into the powerful wolf. This enabled us to scare off our enemies and protect our tribe." _

Billy would drawl out the story of Taha Aki and the cold ones - the vampires - and how they were a danger to us and our tribe. My favourite part of the story was the part where Taha Aki's wife sacrificed herself for the tribe and saved the tribe. I never thought much of that story because I thought it was just a story - the shape-shifters and the vampires, I mean it was just a legend.

"Those are just legends," I said, hopeful that Sam and Jared would agree.

Jared shook his head. He reached across the table, placing his warm hand over mine. "No, Nina, they're not." He started talking about the things I didn't want to hear. "There haven't been shape-shifters for a long time, but some of us have started to phase because - well, because -" Jared looked at Sam.

Sam just looked at me. "We feel the threat in our bloods, just like the legends say."

"The threat of what?"

"Vampires."

I felt my head become light, throat dry, hands sweaty. I pulled my hand away from Jared, looking up at him wearily. "It's all real?"

He nodded. "It's all real."

I stared at him, looking into his eyes. It looked like he was thinking. Quickly, I felt the familiarity of the moment that seemed like mere minutes ago. "That was you in the woods, wasn't it?"

"I'm sorry, Nina."

I quickly looked at Sam. "And you -"

"There are five of us that have turned. We expect at least one more, but there's really no telling how many will phase."

Sam, Jared, Paul, Embry, and Quil. The sudden change, the hair, the tattoos, the seeming invincibility. I thought feeling confused and out of the know was bad, but I didn't know if I felt better now knowing.

"We've all changed, Nina." Jared was being nice and quiet in his voice. He looked a little bit on edge, probably unsure of how I was going to react. "Our hair in while we're human is our fur while we're wolves. That's why we had to cut our hair." He rubbed his arm, right where his tattoo was. "That tattoo - the two wolves in it - it's for shape-shifters. Our bodies change to help us become taller, stronger, and faster. We heal quickly. We develop a bond with each other that makes us stronger. We create packs. It's our instinct to protect and so we had adjust so we're able to do that."

Sam started to speak, making me look at him. "There are threats around us, Nina. That's the only reason we've become what we are. The attacks -"

"The animal attacks," I interrupted, knowing as soon as I said it that it was wrong. It never made sense to me that the attacks in the towns surrounding La Push - like Forks - had been so close to town and so far from the forest. I looked between the two of them, getting the confirmation that I needed. "Vampires."

Sam nodded. "I created a pack - the Uley pack. I'm the alpha." After Sam said that, his voice seemed to get deeper and stronger and I had no trouble believing that he was leading. "Jared's my second, Paul's my third. Embry and Quil are with us too. It's our pack."

My head still felt light, but less so. I knew Sam wouldn't lie, and if ever doubted that, I knew Jared would never lie to me - not about something this serious. I relaxed into my chair, feeling mixed emotions about the entire thing.

Jared coughed. "Nina, now that you know about shape-shifters, you should know that Pa -" Sam didn't say anything. He didn't even look at Jared, but Jared looked at him, watching him for a moment. When Jared looked back at me, he didn't continue his sentence. "I'm glad that you know."

"But you must not tell anyone else."

"Does anyone else know?" I thought about their lives. "Emily? Kim?"

"Emily knows," Sam answered. "Harry Clearwater knows. We know Billy Black suspects, but he hasn't brought any concerns to us. No one else besides them and the members of the pack know. The less that know, the better for us."

I nodded. I didn't feel a desire to tell anyone, except - "Jake..." I thought I had said it quietly, but when I looked up at the two of them, they heard it loud and clear. "Is he the one more you're expecting to turn?"

Sam nodded simply. "We think so."

I couldn't picture it. I couldn't picture any of it, but I knew it was all real. It made sense as much as it sounded like it didn't. I was confused, intrigued. I felt protected even though I never felt threatened to begin with. I wished it wasn't happening, but I was glad that it was.

I stood up from the table, feeling that I was on the end of my rope with new, almost unbelievable information. I looked at Jared. "Walk me home?"

Jared smiled lightly, standing from the table. He looked even bigger and taller after talking about everything. But his face was in a gentle expression and when he walked over to me, he hugged me, not very tightly to make sure I could breathe.

I hugged him back, feeling good about at least that.


	4. 3

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Twilight Saga

* * *

3 - early september

School on the reserve had always been familiar to me. I expected that one thing not to change at all, and it didn't. The paint was still peeling away from the walls and they never replaced the locker doors that a couple of kids had ripped off last year. It was never big, the school, but it somehow seemed smaller.

Kim and I were leaning up against the lockers, talking over your typical first day things like class schedules and concerns and excitements. We had made it through the day somehow. Just a quick stop to our lockers and we were ready to walk home.

Kim had just finished talking about one of her teachers she believed to have something personal against her when she suddenly asked, "Hey, you haven't see Jared, have you?"

Jared had told me that it was a fifty-fifty chance he'd make it to school because of something Sam had named 'patrol'. Apparently, the threat of vampires was prominent enough to pull Jared, Paul, Quil, and Embry out of school and make them patrol the tribe's land. I knew Quil and Embry could catch up, but this was Jared and Paul's last chance at high school; senior year. That made me feel a little nervous. It also made me feel a little nervous lying to Kim.

"I haven't." I looked over her shoulder, spotting someone who I was happy was actually coming to school. "Jake!" I yelled, waving my hand his way.

When Jake saw me, he smiled. He closed his locker, walking down the hallway to me. As soon as he got close enough he put his arm around Kim's shoulder. "How are you ladies?"

Kim laughed, punching him lightly in the stomach. "We're perfectly fine." When his arm fell away from her, she asked, "How are _you_, Jacob Black?"

Jake offered a smile and a shrug, very casual. "I'm all right. I got decent classes, decent teachers - I think things are looking up this year."

I smiled at his smile, just happy that he was happy. "Things _are _looking up." I sighed, stepping closer to him and putting one I thought was a comforting hand on his broad shoulder. "You can focus on your school and fixing up that bike of yours and..." I watched his gaze stray from me. I followed his gaze over my shoulder to Jared and Paul, coming quickly down the hallway.

They were wearing clothes, which felt weird to me, especially after seeing them exclusively in jean cut-offs with no shirt or shoes. They were taller than the majority of the people in the hallway and they were walking pretty confidently for two people who had missed the entire first day of school.

I heard Jake behind me say, "I'm gonna head out. Good talking to you guys."

I turned back to him to make him stay but he was already gone. Just as fast as Jake disappearing, Jared appeared in front of me, pressing his hands to Kim's cheeks and leaning down to kiss her. I turned the other way, stopping to find Paul standing right in front of me. "Not the best start to the year." I walked around him, adjusting my backpack on my shoulders.

Paul followed me, but didn't say anything until we were outside. "Keep talking like that and I won't give you a ride home."

"Don't need one," I said, continuing to walk away.

Paul grabbed onto my arm, spinning me to face him. His grip was firm, but not as hard as I expected. When I was facing him, he actually let go, but he remained tense - in the shoulders, in hands, in the face. "Now that you know everything that's out there, I'd figured you'd want a ride home."

I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head, a little taken aback by how nice he was acting. "If Sam hadn't of told me, you'd let me walk home then?"

"No." Paul seemed sure of his answer. He also seemed a little annoyed by me. "I thought you would _want _a ride home."

I had to laugh. What else was I supposed to do. "Thanks for the kind offer, but I'll walk."

Paul walked toward me, grabbing my arm once again. I tried to get out of his grip, but he was too strong. He walked me across the parking lot, heading towards his rusty, old truck. "You're a pain in my ass."

I just walked with him, knowing he wasn't letting go. "Feeling's mutual." When we reached his truck, he got in the driver's side, gesturing harshly for me to get in as well. I opened the door, tossing my backpack hard at him, which he caught with ease. I climbed in, watching him put my backpack down between us.

He started the truck. "Seatbelt."

I ignored him, looking at the school. "What about Jared and Kim?"

"They'll walk."

I turned to look at him, feeling the shocked, betrayed look on my face. "Kim gets to walk and I don't."

Paul pulled onto the road, looking at the road and nothing else. "Kim has Jared and Jared doesn't have a truck."

I shifted in my seat, getting comfortable. "Is this going to become a regular thing?"

He stared ahead at the road. His hand that was gripping the wheel tightened and he tensed for a moment. He had a look on his face like he was mad, but he seemed somewhat uncomfortable, somewhat upset. I started to feel bad about putting up a fight. Before I could even open my mouth to apologize, Paul started talking first. "I know you like to walk, but this is safest."

Not exactly an apology, but I would take it.

I sighed, looking out the window and watching as we drove past trees, trees, and more trees. I looked ahead again, but my eyes ending up making their way back to Paul despite my efforts not to. I wasn't sure why I had to look at him, I just had to. I liked the look of him, which I would never say out loud, but I did. I told myself I was getting used to the new him, but the excuse wasn't really holding up.

Paul slowly turned to me, meeting my eyes. His eyebrows rose, expecting me to say something. When I didn't, he asked, "You need something?"

I didn't look away. I needed to see his face, his reaction, when I asked him, "What was it like when you first shifted?"

He looked back to the road, but I could see the slight twitch of a smile on his mouth. "Confusing. Terrifying. I was with Jared and he had a couple weeks before I did so he knew what to do and what to say to me." He started to smile for real. It really did brighten up his face when he smiled - an unfamiliar, but welcome sight. "It felt strange at first, but then I realized I could hear better, see better, feel things differently. I was faster, stronger - better in every way."

"Every way? Jared says it hurts to shift."

"At first," Paul confirmed. "You shift without being able to control it. When it's sudden and unexpected like that, it hurts like hell. Sam trained us, looked out for us, took care of us.

That was one of the things I didn't expect or understand - the undying loyalty. Jared described a pack like brotherhood, but much stronger. Obeying your alpha isn't just something you do because you want to do, it's a feeling inside of you that pushes you to. Jared, Paul, Quil, Embry - they would die for Sam, and they would die for each other. To them, they were the most important things to each other, above everything else.

"So you're happy?"

"Yes." He glanced at me before looking at the road once again. He relaxed, his shoulder slumping into the seat, his hand lazily hanging off the steering wheel. "Yeah, I think so."

"Then I'm happy for you." I figured if he was being nice to me, I should've been nice back. It gave me a weird feeling, especially after we had spent our entire seventeen years of our existence bugging and annoying each other.

Paul hummed, nodding his head slowly. "Is this what you're like when you're nice?"

Oh, good. He _was_ still annoying.

I shook my head, feeling the heat rise in my again - not anger, though. Something else. "Don't get used to it, Lahote."

"Wouldn't dream of it, Cameron."

* * *

I thought I would see more of Jared, but he was always with Kim. I thought I would see more of Kim, but she was always with Jared. Despite them always being together, it was surprisingly hard to catch both of them to do something fun. When Jared and Kim asked me to join them for a movie, I initially said no. My idea of fun was not third-wheeling at a movie. Kim told me that the movie would be a scary one, watched in the comfort of Jared's home, and that Paul would be there. After that, she had convinced me to say yes.

There we were - Saturday night, rain pouring down in heavy drops, slapping against all the windows and the top of the house, adding an eerie white noise to the movie we were watching.

Jared and Kim were cuddled up on the very end of the L-shaped couch. I was in the middle and Paul was on the other side. There were only two blankets, which was no problem for Jared and Kim, but it meant Paul and I had to share. I didn't mind too much. It was warm being close to Paul and the movie was almost over anyway.

I sighed, feeling the ache in my shoulder as I laid on my side, head resting on my hand. I let my arm go, resting my head on my flat arm on the couch. I felt the ache in my legs also from having them curled up for so long. I straightened my legs, feeling my feet hit Paul's legs. I straightened further for my own comfort, letting them dig into Paul's side just a little.

Paul grabbed both of my feet with his warm hands, moving them from where they were to rest in his lap. "Don't dig your feet into my leg," he whispered lowly.

I continued to watch the TV, not feeling all that apologetic, especially since my legs were stretched out and my feet were warm against his legs. "Sorry."

"Ssh!" Kim hushed us. "I can feel something coming."

The suspenseful music in the movie became louder and louder. The sound of the rain against the house seemed to get louder as well. Then, the sudden jump scare on the TV appeared.

Kim's scream rang out through the living room and Jared laughed, holding her tighter against his chest. I hadn't screamed, but I realized that I had jumped once I heard felt my heart beating fast in my chest. I also realized that Paul's hand was gripping my leg tightly, assuming he had also gotten a jump of his own. Just as fast as I had realized his hand on my leg, he let go.

Silence fell upon us again, just the sound of the TV and the rain.

Once the credits rolled, Jared hopped up from the couch, turning the lights on. I quickly felt more comfortable, but I still scanned the room, just double-checking for a serial killer - just in case.

Jared smiled widely. Horror always was his favourite genre. "That movie was awesome."

Kim was the only one who responded, which was more like whining than words. "That movie was awful!" She sat up straight on the couch, eyes dashing across the newly lit room, a little bit more obvious than when I had done it.

I laughed. "Chill out, Kim."

Paul chimed up behind me. "It's just a movie."

Kim looked at both of us. "Easy for you two to say. You guys weren't scared at all!"

I remember the feeling of Paul's big hand squeezing my leg and I smiled, glancing over my shoulder at Paul. "Right. Not scared at all."

Paul's eyes narrowed at me for a moment before standing, pulling his keys from his pocket and dawning a brave face. "I've gotta get going, Jared. I'm on early shift tomorrow."

They were talking about patrol - stupid patrol. They sparsely showed up at school. If they did, it was never for a full day. If they didn't show up again, I wasn't all that surprised.

Kim's head snapped to Jared. "Babe, I can't spend tonight alone."

Jared smiled widely. "If you insist, you can stay here."

I stood up too, feeling the discomfort of being in the room with the two of them while they looked at each other like that. "I should go too." I walked over to Kim, hugging her briefly. I waved at Jared and then Paul and I exited the house.

The two of us stood just outside the door, under the protection of the awning. I watched as the rain poured down hard. I looked past all of the thick drops falling down to look into the trees. It was a really dark, cold night, but for some reason, I didn't want to bug Paul.

I pulled my hood up over my head. "Goodnight, Paul."

I didn't even make it a step before Paul caught me. Instead of grabbed my arm, his hand landed on my shoulder, guiding towards his truck. "You'll get hypothermia within five minutes."

"Must be nice," I said, loud enough for him to hear me over the rain. I felt his hand slide off my shoulder as I walked to the passenger side of his truck. I pulled open the truck door, catching his eyes across the hood. "Never getting cold." I got inside, shivering as my skin rubbed against my slightly dampened sweater.

Paul, no shirt, got in the driver's side, starting the truck quickly. "No complaints here." He reached to put on the heat that I knew would take the length of the drive to warm up anyway.

"You gotta fix this thing up," I told him, not like he hadn't heard it a million times before. I shivered harder, wrapping my arms around myself. I looked up at Paul to see him watching me. "What?"

He reached up, grabbing my sweatshirt and pulling my across the length of his truck's bench seat. "You're gonna freeze." His arm fell over my shoulder, the heat that rolled off of him hitting me.

I pressed my body against his without thinking. The sudden warmth was too good to resist. I rested my head on his shoulder, shutting my eyes. "Are you ever too hot?"

I didn't have to see his face to know he was smirking. "All the time."

I took my hand away from my body, placing it on his stomach and pinching. His skin was hard and impossible to penetrate, but I hoped he got the idea. "You know what I mean, Paul."

"No."

"Is patrol dangerous?"

"Could be."

"What have you seen?"

"What's with all the questions?"

I picked my head up from his shoulder with great effort, opening my eyes slowly to look at him. "I didn't know anything about this just a couple weeks ago. There's still a lot I don't know."

Paul nodded. "All right."

I placed my head back where it was, letting my heavy eyes close once again. "Why do you do everything Sam says?"

"I have to."

"So you're forced?"

"I'm not forced to do anything." His tone was strong. He then took a breath and his long fingers touched my shoulder, playing with the fabric on my sweater. "Even if I didn't have to, I want to. I owe a lot to Sam."

"Enough to skip school for patrol?"

"Oh," Paul said knowingly. Again I imagined he was smirking. "That's what this is really about, huh? Goody-two-shoes Nina can't understand why I would ever skip school, is that it?"

I ignored his teasing, too tired at that moment, but I was awake enough to express my thoughts. "I just don't understand. You feel so strongly to do what Sam says that you're willing to ruin your future because of it?"

"Ruin's a strong word."

I could feel him getting hotter, if that was even possible. I sensed I was pushing a couple of buttons I wasn't supposed to be pushing. Paul was such a hot-head, always having issues with keeping his anger in check. He seemed better since I had been back, which shocked me pleasantly, but I knew that it was still in him. I was feeling it now. His hot skin, a slight tremble in his hand.

"I just mean -" I hoped that I would find the right words fast. "I'm just saying that a high school diploma goes a long way."

"A high school diploma doesn't really have any weight if I let the vampires ruin our town." He was so serious. He really believed what he was saying.

"You can't save the world, Paul."

"I'll be damned if I don't do anything to help."

It wasn't completely unlike Paul. He had strong opinions and strong emotions - usually the wrong ones - and he did what he wanted without ever really thinking it through. None of that was new to me, it was just the superhero-type things he was saying. I had always pictured him as the villain.

I had always seen him one way and ever since I had gotten back, he'd pretty well been acting the polar opposite. Not completely, I mean, he was still Paul. I started to think that maybe he had always been that way and I was the one who had changed.

"Hey." He shook my shoulder a little bit. "You awake?"

I opened my eyes. "Yeah." I looked up at the windshield, watching the windshield wipers move wildly. I let out a relaxed breath. I felt my eyes start to droop again and I yawned. "Barely," I muttered, adjusting my head on his shoulder.

"Don't fall asleep." He shook my shoulder again. "We're almost at your place."

I didn't want to move. I never wanted to move. I was too tired to explain that to him. I ended up in my own bed in my own house regardless, feeling the painful absence of Paul's warm body.


	5. 4

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Twilight Saga

* * *

4 - late october

If it wasn't muffins, it was pie.

I peeled the apples slowly, careful not to cut myself on the sharp blade of the peeler. I glanced down at my apple slices and then to Emily, who had much more. "Jesus, Em, slow down. You're making me look bad."

She laughed, continue to peel the skin of the red apple quickly. Her motions were fast, fluid, and precise. "The longer you're around, the better you get, I promise." She sighed, slicing into the freshly peeled apple. "The boys are always hungry. If I'm not at work, I'm making food for them. If I'm not making food for them, I'm working."

"That's a lot of making food."

"It's a lot of hungry wolves." She glanced sideways at me. "Boys, I mean."

I chuckled. "Boys, wolves - what are we supposed to call them?" I looked out the window of the kitchen, watching five, forever shirtless boys - wolves screwing around in front of the house. They were so competitive with each other.

"You and Paul seem to be getting along better."

I sliced into my finger, dropping the peeler to the floor. "Ah." I seethed, pushing my thumb into my mouth and sucking the blood away. I pulled it out of my mouth to see the thing line on top of the soft skin of my thumb. It was a shallow cut, but it was bleeding fast, and it stung.

Emily grabbed a hand towel, wrapping it around my thumb and squeezing. "Pressure." I nodded, holding the cloth semi-tight against my thumb. Emily went back to peeling apples. "As I was saying..." She paused, the corner of her lip twitching. "You and Paul."

"Yeah, I -" I shook my head, blinking quickly a couple of times, trying to formulate a response that wouldn't end in Emily teasing me. "He's being nice - I mean, not exactly nice, but _nicer_." I glanced over my shoulder, out the window again, looking at Paul.

When Emily started talking, I looked back at her. "Out of Sam, Jared, and Paul, it was Paul who had the least control of his shifting." It was just the sound of her talking and slicing. "His anger would trigger him and he was shifting all the time." She sighed. "Sam and Jared worked really hard to help him control his anger and he's gotten a lot better with their help. Sam says that sometimes he still shifts uncontrollably, but not since he impr-" She suddenly stopped, her soft eyes finding mine.

"Since he what?"

She closed her lips into a tight smile. "Since you've been back." Her voice sounded genuine, but he face was taught. She was telling the truth, but not the whole truth. What else could there possibly be? "Anyway, he's come a long way, Nina."

"Yeah." That was all I could say since I was too deep into questioning what else there was to tell me that I wasn't aware of about shape-shifters.

Emily sensed my thinking. She walked over to me, placing her light hands on my shoulders. She smiled kindly, her brown eyes soft, her dark hair long, and the scare across her face illuminated from the window behind me. She truly beautiful, inside and out. "Don't worry about knowing everything, Nina. You'll learn everything when you're ready." Before I could ask any questions about what that meant, she pulled the hand towel from my thumb, holding it up to her face and examining. "I think we gotta take the whole thumb."

I laughed, pulling my hand from her grip. Both of us returned to our duty of peeling and slicing the apples. I picked up the peeler again, not as wary. What were the chances of cutting myself twice?

By the time we had gotten the three apple pies in the oven, the boys were nowhere to be seen - likely somewhere deep in the woods. Emily and I washed our hands and sat at the rounded table with two cups of steaming hot tea on it. I let my fingers trace the rim of the blue mug. My eyes fell among the books - all the books of the stories and legends of the Quileute tribe

When Sam and Jared told me about shape-shifters I went through my own bookshelf in our living room at home. I read as much as I could bare about our legends. Some names stood out - Uley, Ateara, Black, Clearwater. Clearwater.

"Why don't Leah and Seth come around anymore?' I asked Emily.

Leah was Sam and Emily's age and Seth was a year younger than Jake, Quil, and Embry. They were never as close with all of us as the rest of us were, but they still came around and hung out, at least they did the last time I was here.

I knew very little about the dramatics that went down just as I left for Tanzania. Emily didn't used to live in La Push. She used to live on the Makah reservation in Neah Bay. She was a second cousin of Leah, but they acted more like sisters. I knew that Emily came to visit Leah. I knew that Leah used to date Sam. I knew that Leah and Sam weren't together anymore and Emily and Sam were.

I didn't know Leah well, but I felt like I knew her well enough that I could see her being mad enough to hold a grudge, as stupid as that was. I also realized in that moment that the question I asked was insensitive and probably self-explanatory.

I looked at Emily, shaking my head. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."

"It's okay."

I knew Emily felt pain about the whole situation - and guilt. Leah was her cousin and her best friend. I had my own judgements about Emily and Sam for a while, until I saw the two of them together.

Emily sighed, pressing her hands against her cup of tea. "I tried to tell Sam to back off. I told him to go back to her - to Leah, but..." She stared down at the wooden table, seeming to relive the moment. "When he told me that he imprinted on me and told me how he felt, I couldn't let him go."

I took in everything she said, feeling my heart warm at the sweet sentences, and then I felt confused. "Imprinted?"

Emily tensed - her whole entire body. She looked over at me, looking disappointed, but not at me. She seemed disappointed in herself. Her hands went from her tea to cover my hands on the table. She squeezed my hands, looking me in the eyes. "Don't tell anyone I said anything."

"Wha -?"

"Please tell me there's pie!"

The boys appeared in the doorway.

Emily's worried face quickly fell into an easy smile. "In the oven!" She greeted Sam with a kiss.

I felt two hands slap down on my shoulder. I looked up, greeting Jared with a smile. "Get it all out your system?"

Jared sat down in the chair next to me. "No way. I could run all day, isn't that right, Paul? I run all the time, all day."

Paul took the chair on the other side, sitting down with a thump. He smirked at Jared. "You should be a better runner if you run all the time." He looked at me, eyes dark and playful. He looked happy. "Don't you think, Nina?"

I chuckled. "We all know running's not Jared's strong suit."

Jared scoffed, looking might confident. "Yeah, right." He looked at Paul for a still, tense moment.

Paul stood from his chair, running to the door, leading to Jared bolting up and running to the door as well. While Jared ran inhumanely fast out the front door and into the woods, Paul stood by the doorframe, laughing.

"That was cruel," I said.

Paul walked back over to the table, sitting down again. "You better wipe that smile off your face before he comes back then." He reached out, picking up my tea and raising it to his lips.

"It's too hot -" I stopped myself, watching as he drank it, completely unfazed. I shook my head, both our eyes staying on each other as he put the mug back down. "I forgot about that." I thought back to when I first saw him. "Does that mean when I ran into in with the muffin tray, it didn't hurt?"

"It didn't."

I dragged my mug of tea back over to me, eyebrows raising. "That's too bad."

Paul's playful smile and playful eyes made me smile as his hand gripped the back of the chair, tipping it backward with his one, very strong hand. When I screamed, he laughed loudly, slowly letting me back down.

Jared came through the front door, sporting an unimpressed face. "That's the last time I fall for that."

* * *

"Wrench."

I picked up the heavy, dirty metal wrench, slapping in down into his calloused hands. "Wrench." I watched him work on the bike, trying to understand what he was doing. He did explain it to me, but I couldn't understand.

Jake handed the wrench back to me. "Pliers."

I grabbed the pliers, handing those to him. "Pliers." I sighed, standing from the small tool to stretch my legs. I walked around the dark shop, wondering how Jake could spend all of his time here.

He rarely did anything else. He was at school, he was at home, or he was at his shop. He didn't seem sad, but it sure seemed like a sad hobby - sitting alone in a dark shop with a wrench and a pair of pliers and yourself.

He seemed more sad than usual.

I knew that Quil and Embry didn't come around for him anymore, but Jake had talked about a girl named Bella a couple times. Those were the only times he seemed happy about anything.

There had been an incident, but that was a month ago.

"Are you still sulking about Bella?" I asked him. I didn't feel the need to sugarcoat anything for Jake. I thought he could handle it. If he couldn't, he would let me know. "You don't hang out with her anymore?"

"From what I hear, she doesn't hang out with anyone anymore. Not since -" His fist clenched around the pair of pliers. "Not since the Cullens left town."

It was my understanding that Bella and Jake knew each other because she used to live in Forks when she was a kid and her and Jake used to play together, however kids used to entertain themselves in Forks. She moved back last year and Jake and her started seeing a decent amount of each other because Billy and Bella's dad were close. That was all I really knew. That, and when Sam had carried her out of the middle of the woods last month, all the way back to her house.

I didn't understand what had happened. No one did. She was cold, alone, and just lying on the ground in the middle of the woods. She was lucky Sam had found her. An animal could've gotten her. If that didn't, the cold would've eventually. I didn't understand, but I was dwelling on it. Jake on the other hand...

"I just don't get it." Jake shook his head, whipping it over his shoulder to look at me. "Sam carried her really far, shirtless and barefoot, all the way to her _house_."

"I know, I -"

"What was she even doing out there?" He stood up, voice getting loud enough to fill the whole shop. His eyes were dark. "I know it had something to do Edward Cullen. Whatever he did to her, she hasn't shown her face anywhere for months."

I didn't know anything about Edward Cullen. I knew he had been dating Bella up until the forest incident. I knew it bugged Jake a lot.

"She's probably just heartbroken, Jake," I tried to say it in a comforting, soothing tone. "She'll heal. She'll move on." I had no idea what Bella would do. I had never met her. But if it make Jake feel better, I would say whatever I needed.

Jake turned back on his stool, going back to work on his bike. "I hope so."

"What's your deal with her?" I felt myself smiling. "Does Jacob Black have a crush?"

"What?" He laughed - a nervous, crackling laugh. "No?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, right." I walked around the shop, weaving through the old, rusty parts from cars, bike, and other things I couldn't identify. "You blush every time you talk about her, which is more than you talk about anyone else."

"Are we gonna play this game?" Jake gave one last snip of something, putting the pliers down and turning to me. He had a funny smile on his face, his cheeks slowly returning to a normal colour after his blushing from talking about Bella. "What about Paul?"

It was my turn to laugh. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Well, you talk about him a lot."

"I also talk about Jared, Kim, Embry, Quil, Emily -"

"Alright, alright -" Jake held his hands up in defence. He sat back down on his stool, but he still looked at me with that funny smile. "But you do talk about him a lot, Nina."

I shook my head at him, smile wavering. "I don't know. Things changed."

I wish Jake hadn't said his name. If Jake thought I talked about him a lot, I thought about him ten times more. I thought about how he changed, how he stayed the same, how I changed, how things between us changed. Sometimes, I thought about how he looked now. Sometimes I missed his long hair. It went in a loop - always something about him.

When I wasn't thinking about Paul, I was hammering at myself. I tried to justify how much I thought about him. I wondered if he thought about me too. I wondered if I had imagined all the times I thought he showed...all the times he seemed to...

"Nina?"

"Yeah?"

"What things changed?"

"I don't know." I walked over to him, taking my place back on the stool I was on minutes ago. I took a deep breath. When I let all the air out, I looked at him, the unsure thoughts all in and around my mind. "I don't know, really, I just feel different since being back and seeing...everyone again. for the first time in months."

"Do you feel different about Paul?"

I was scared to tell Jake. Up until a couple months ago, he was really close with all the boys just as I was now, but he was never really that close with Paul and Jared. I was scared if I told Jake how I felt, he wouldn't understand. Last that Jake told me, he found Paul just an annoying guy with anger issues. I would've agreed. I still would've, but at least _I _knew that was just surface stuff. There were a lot of layers to Paul.

"Maybe." I quickly shook my head. "I don't know." I struggled to breathe for just a small second and then I said, "Regardless, my mom says she worries about me hanging out with all of them."

Jake's brows furrowed at me. "Why?"

"She doesn't worry about Jared, obviously, but I think she doesn't want me hanging around the short-haired, tattooed, shirtless ones."

"Seriously, what is it with the being shirtless and barefoot?"

I felt such a strong urge to explain to him, but I couldn't. I wouldn't. It wasn't my place and I didn't want to upset Sam or disappoint the boys, but not telling Jake was so difficult.

"I mean, steroids, am I right?"

I pushed his shoulder. "It's not steroids," I said firmly. When he started to smile, I laughed and nodded at the bike. "Are you _ever _going to finish this damn thing?" I kicked it with my foot, hearing something clang on the ground.

"Hey!" Jake pushed my leg away. "Feet off, please." He held out his hand. "Screwdriver."


	6. 5

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Twilight Saga

* * *

5 - mid december

"I mean, it's not like I said that Sam was hot, I just -"

I laughed loudly, right in Kim's face, which I thought was warranted. "You really can't hold your tongue, can you?"

Kim shook her head, glaring at me. "Can you at least pretend to be on my side right now?" She huffed, leaning agains the lockers in the crowded hallway. "Jared knows he's the only one for me, but it just came out."

"I'm not disagreeing." I thought about Sam quickly. Yeah, still hot. And then I thought about Jared. "Jare's just sensitive."

Kim's eyes widened. "Boy, am I ever figuring that out."

A body appeared at her side, throwing his arm around her. "Kim, baby." Russ Chee looked down at her, waggling is insanely thick eyebrows at her. When she pushed him away, he looked at me and nodded. "Nina."

Kim looked at him pointedly. "What is it, Russ? We were in the middle of a conversation."

He smiled lightly, taking a place in between the two of us, back up against the lockers. "You know the drill, ladies. Saturday night. Bring yourself, some booze, and a pair of skates."

Russ Chee had a big house with a small pond next to it that froze over every winter. And every winter, he had a get together. We had to call it that instead of a party or else the res officers would come hunt us down.

Kim scoffed, smiling smugly at Russ. "It's too cold outside, Russ. No one's gonna come."

That was true. It was a really cold winter. The snow came early this year, which pretty much only affected when Russ had his party, which was a little earlier than expected. I didn't think the cold weather or short notice would deter people from going though, to be honest. Apparently, neither did Russ.

"Oh, trust me. People are coming," he said surely. He turned to face me, his wide frame blocking Kim from me completely. "Think you'll make it, Cameron?"

Nina's head popped out from the side of Russ's arm. She didn't seemed annoyed by him anymore. In fact, the look on her face was something of mischief or...suggestiveness. "If Nina goes, I go." She walked around Russ, bumping her shoulder against mine and glancing back at Russ. "You can negotiate with her."

She disappeared before I could grab onto her.

It wasn't that I didn't like Russ. He was a nice enough guy. The catch was that he was got high so often it was hard to tell if he was ever completely sober. He showed up to class, but he was always late, and I knew that water bottle he carried around was not all water. He was a bad kid - a bad boy, if you will. He was cute, I would give him that, but I wasn't attracted to him. There were plenty or girls who were, so I didn't think he'd be bothered.

"What do I have to do?" He smiled, taking a tentative step closer to me. He opened his mouth to speak, but his eyes darted over my head.

I shifted on my feet, feeling my back hit a hard chest. I looked over my shoulder, spinning fully when I saw who it was. "Ah. What's the special occasion?"

Paul looked down at me, pretty close for comfort, but he didn't move. "I need a special occasion to come to school?"

If he wouldn't move, I would. I took a step back from him, feeling Russ's arm brush against mine. "These days, I think so." I waited for Paul to walk away, since he didn't seem to have anything to say. I looked between the two of them, nodding awkwardly to Paul. "I'll see you later."

Paul didn't move. He just stood straight, looking at Russ with darkened eyes. His lips were pressed tight against each other, his dark brows close to his eyes in an intimidating way. Paul was taller and his arms were bigger, but I never knew Russ to be intimidated by anyone.

I placed my hand on Paul's chest. "I said I'll -"

"No, it's alright," Russ said, making me look at him. "I'll go."

I watched Russ walk down the hallway. I glanced at Paul and scoffed, walking past him to the front doors of the school. I felt him behind me but he didn't make his following known until we got outside.

"You really want to go out with that guy?"

"No," I said honestly, looking over my shoulder to see that satisfied look on his face. I wanted to smack him. I stopped walking, turning and standing my ground, but I decided against the slap. "But if I did, that would be _my _choice, not yours."

Paul got close to me, eyes still dark. "I'm not making your choices for you."

"Oh, no, of course not," I said sarcastically, turning around and walking across the icy parking lot. "You're just intimidating him so he never asks me out ever again."

"I'm protecting you."

I huffed, shaking my head and sticking my cold, bare hands into the pockets of my jacket. "I don't need a protector."

He grabbed my arm and he didn't let go until I stopped completely. He nodded to his truck. "Hurry up."

"I'm not getting in that thing with you." I already saw his move to grab me. Before he could, I took a big step back, eyes narrowing. I was cold, but I was starting to feel myself heat up. "You can't make me!"

His jaw shifted - something I used to see a lot. First his jaw would shift and then his hands would ball up and then his neck would get red.

I looked down at his hand, seeing them twitching. I looked back up at him, shaking my head. "I thought things were gonna be different." I was doing it before I could stop myself, but I reached out, pushing hard against his chest. "You're just the same -" I pushed hard again. "Angry -" I pushed again. "Asshole -" I shoved again, weakly that time. I think I was tired of pushing against someone who wouldn't budge. "You've always been!"

His hands bawled into fists. He was breathing heavily, but his neck wasn't red. He wasn't saying anything. I stared at him and he stared at me. I let myself breathe a little bit. Pretty quick, I felt my anger leave. Just as fast, that anger was replaced with guilt. I didn't want to provoke Paul, and I knew that I had made a big deal out of almost nothing and I felt awful.

His mouth parted and he took a deep breath. His hands unfurled and he reached up, taking the zipper of my jacket between his long fingers and he zipped it all the way to the top. Both of his heavy hands were on my shoulders, giving me all the warmth in the world. "Be careful walking home." That was it. He turned, got in his truck, and left.

My guilt was overtaken quickly with worry. That had never happened before. He never gave up easily like that. What did I do? Was he done with me? He finally decided he was sick and tired of fighting with me and now we're never going to speak again?

I let out a shaky breath I didn't realize I was holding. I watched my breath in the air and then I turned and started walking home, holding onto the feeling of Paul's hands on me as long as possible to keep warm.

* * *

Homework was always better at Jared's. It was quieter and warmer and it had a massive dining room table for me to spread my textbooks onto. The wooden chairs were a little uncomfortable, but I figured I could live with that one downfall.

It seemed like I had the entire house to myself. It was so quiet that it was making me tired. I turned to TV on for some white noise or any noise really - to keep me awake; to keep me from thinking.

I hadn't seen Paul in a couple of days and for those couple of days I worried more than I ever had my entire life. I worried that he was so mad at me that he couldn't even be angry.

What if I had ruined everything?

I read the same sentence from my textbook over and over again. I felt myself grow frustrated. I slammed my textbook shut, picking it up and slamming it against the table. When the loud noise finished ringing through the house, the silence was even worse than before.

"That's my table, you know."

I watched Jared come through the front door. I tried to smile - not a very good one. "Hey." I gestured to the textbooks. "Just frustrated. I've read the same sentence fifty thousand times."

"Fifty thousand?" Jared sat down in a chair opposite to be at the table. "That seems like a lot."

I chuckled, shaking my head and staring down at the dark, glossy wood that was the ginormous dining room table. "You know what I mean."

"I get like that too when I get in a fight with Kim."

I opened my textbook, ready to try again. "I didn't get into a fight with Kim."

"You know who I meant."

I glanced up at him, really not wanting to talk to my cousin about Paul. "Is that right?"

"Paul told me."

I looked at the book only. "I didn't know you two were gossiping now."

Jared's big hand landed on my book, yanking it away from me and over to him. He shut it harshly, using the same harshness to look down at me "I'm serious, Nina." His face matched his tone. "You need to fix this."

I know I did, but I didn't want to give into Jared that easily.

"Why?"

Jared's expression softened momentarily. "It's just a wolf -" He closed his eyes for a moment, seeming to recoup. He finally looked back at me. "Paul needs you guys to be on good terms, always. It may seem fun to be cross with Paul but he -"

"It's not!" I was offended that he thought I was getting any enjoyment out of this. "You think I'm having a good time?" My voice got louder. "I regret everything! I feel terrible, Jared! God, you should've seen the look on his face." I slumped into my chair, breathing heavily. I closed my eyes, feeling the thump of my heart in my chest. "I never want to see that look again." My voice quieted. "It hurts too much."

I felt Jared's hands on my shoulders, yanking me upward. He wrapped his arms around me. "You're hurting." His voice was quiet and soothing - the two things Jared rarely was. "What you're feeling - Paul's feeling it a thousand times worse."

I pulled away from his embrace. Just the sounds of Paul's name...

"Nina, hey -" He pulled my face to look at him. "Make things right." His head suddenly jerked up to the door. I looked and didn't see anything, but Jared headed towards it and opened it, glancing at me. "Make things good right now."

Paul walked through the door, looking at Jared first, then immediately to me. If he was surprised to see me, he was hiding it well. It wasn't a surprise that I was at Jared's, I just thought, given the circumstances, maybe he didn't want to see me.

"Paul..." My heart hurt as I looked at him. Tanned, dark, beautiful.

Paul stepped further into the house, closer to me. Jared had left at some point and Paul was getting closer. "Nina."

As he got closer, I could feel his warmth. I felt like I needed to touch him. I couldn't stop myself from stepping closer and grabbing his wrist. I didn't want him to go anywhere. I looked at his chest for a couple of seconds and then I braved it, looking up into his eyes. "About the other day -"

"I'm sorry, Nina." He pulled his wrist from my grip only to grab my hand. His dark eyes bore into mine, looking deep and thoughtfully. "You're your own person. I guess I just forgot that when you left. I needed that reality check."

I smiled, already feeling a thousand times better than how I was feeling the last couple of days. "How am I supposed to follow up and apology like that?"

Paul smiled too - small and genuine. His chest bumped against mine. He reached up, putting his hands on the sides of my face. "You don't have to apologize."

"I do." I put my hands on his forearms, letting them hang lazily from his grip. "You're not the same angry asshole you've always been. I was just pissed off." Paul seemed satisfied, but I didn't feel like it was enough. "I never wanted to go out with Russ anyway." I didn't know if that would've helped, but it made Paul's smile widen. He even laughed.

"Good instincts."

Standing so close to him, feeling the heat and his hands on my face - I didn't know what it was that was making my heart beat fast. It could've been anything. My heart starting beating faster as I imagined Paul's hands sliding from my face to my shoulders to my torso, sliding around to my back, under my shirt.

"Nina?"

I hadn't realized my eyes were closed. They shot open and I breathed into his face. "What?"

I was imagining things. I was standing there, in front of Paul, thinking about him touching me. I was delirious, obviously.

"You heart's beating a mile a minute." His smiled faded and his brows furrowed. His dark eyes looked lighter and filled with concern. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I stepped away from him quickly. "Yes," I confirmed again, unsure if I had spoken aloud the first time. I looked him up and down without meaning to and then I sat back down at the table. "I should get back to my homework." I glanced up at him, scared to look for too long. "You know, that thing you never have cause you don't go to school."

Paul seethed over dramatically. "Ouch."

Every muscle I had relaxed. I looked down and finally read that sentence.


	7. 6

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Twilight Saga

* * *

6 - late February

If I had to count how much time I had spent in Jake's old shop, I would've been disappointed in myself - very disappointed.

I groaned loudly into the air, rolling my head all the way around. "Jake, are we ever gonna get out of this place?"

He laughed at my dramatics. "You're free to go any time you want."

I stood up, walking to the edge of the shop, but only to look outside at the slowly recovering, brownish-greenish grass. "The snow has finally melted away. We could actually do fun stuff now."

It rained too much in Washington for the snow to stick. Now it was just wet grass trying to recover and then ice.

I walked back over to him, slapping his shoulders as I passed him. "Come on, you owe me."

"Why's that?"

I looked out the rackety old window, looking at the Black household. "You missed Paul and Jared's birthdays." They had come and went and they weren't a big deal, but I was trying to make Jake feel bad enough that he would cave. "And you refuse to come to mine."

The chances of the birthdays of Paul, Jared, and me being so close together was sort of slim, but it turned out that way anyway. Paul and Jared had their fun and now it was my turn. If I was being honest, I didn't care much for birthdays - especially mine, but I needed to get Jake out of the shop.

"I just don't want to be around -"

"I know," I said loudly, not wanting to hear him say how much he didn't want to be around the boys for the eightieth time. "What if we went to a movie or something?" I glanced over my shoulder, watching him continue to work of his bike. "Or we could go shopping in Port Angeles?" He didn't bite. I sighed. "Or we can continue to work on a bike that'll never come to life."

"I'm not giving up on this thing." Jake was determined, to a fault.

"It's okay to let things go, Jake."

"Wise words, Nina."

I shook my head, letting the silence over take the two of us. The silence made it that much easier to hear the rumbling of an old truck - a sound I would know anywhere - from outside the shop.

Jake's head snapped up. He looked at me, then at the door. He got up from his stool, jogging to see who happened to be visiting. I followed, but didn't get outside the shop by the time I heard him say, "Bella! Where the hell have you been, loca?"

I didn't have to be out there to know that Jake was happy - smiling, probably.

I came around the edge of the doorframe slowly, watching Jake hug a girl I felt like I should've recognized, but didn't. I watched the two of them. He spun her around and she laughed and then her eyes met mine. Her arts darted between Jake and I.

I quickly started toward them, arm outstretched. "You must be Bella." I got to her and she shook my hand with a weak grip. Her hands were small and dainty, much like the rest of her. "I'm Nina. I'm Jake's friend."

"Bella," she said, and then she immediately smiled bashfully. "But you already said that."

She was a little bit awkward and fidgety, but she was beautiful. Her hair was long and straight and brown, matching her brown eyes. She had great cheekbones and a pointed chin and great, pale, skin.

I looked behind her at her orange truck, seeing the cover over two objects that looked suspiciously like bikes. "Do not tell me those are two new projects." I looked at Bella, putting on a pleading face. "I've been trying to get this guy out of the shop for _months_."

Jake put his arm out in front of me, pushing me back a little bit. He looked only at Bella and with a smile too. "Cut out, Nina."

I laughed, pushing his arm away from my body. I walked past him, stopping when I was in line with Bella. I put a hand on her shoulder, nodding to her. "He's your problem now, loca." As I walked away, I did look back.

It surprised me; how happy Jake became in a matter of moments. Bella wasn't how I pictured but I could see how Jake could be so enthralled by her. Either way, I wasn't sitting for one more second in that dark shop.

I made my way to Sam's, where I knew every one was going to be.

I was nearly there. I could seem Sam's place. Just a couple dozen trees and I was there.

"Nina!"

"Jesus!" I whipped around, being able to chuckle when I saw Kim come into view. "Hey, Kim, you..." My voice trailed off when I saw the determined, slightly angry look on his face. "You okay?"

She moved with quick, very sure footsteps. She walked right past me, her long, dark hair whipping around her face. "Where is he?"

I ran to catch up with her. I grabbed her arm, trying to desperately tug her back. I wasn't sure what her intentions were, but I knew that Jared's constant absence was getting the best of her. "Hey, Kim!" I tried to tug on her again to no avail. I looked toward the house, yelling as loud as I could, "Jared!"

It came out a little panicked, which meant Jared and Paul both came running out of the house. I sighed in relief when Kim stopped in her tracks. I let go of her arm, walking quickly toward Jared, saying in a low voice, "You have some explaining to do."

I knew he couldn't tell Kim. Sam's orders. I wasn't sure what excuse he was going to come up with, but I wished him luck.

Paul held his arm out and I walked right into it. He pressed his hand into my lower back, guiding me into the house. Once we got inside, he sat down with Sam and Embry at the table. "Jared's screwed."

"What happened?" Sam asked.

"Can't you hear it?" Embry chuckled. I didn't need the wolves heightened hearing to hear Kim yelling at Jared. Embry chuckled. "Kim's totally pissed, dude."

"He has to be careful." Sam stood slowly, walking around the table to the front door, which remained open. He looked out, probably at Jared and Kim being a fighting couple. He seemed a little tense. "I should go out there to keep him in check."

Emily shook her head from the living room. "Sam, don't. They'll work it out amongst themselves."

I think it was less about helping them resolve their issues and more about Jared not shifting uncontrollably, leaving no choice but to tell Kim about everything, and invite another person into this insane world.

Embry chewed his muffin, not discreetly or politely. "I don't understand why she can't just know. I thought all mates _had _to be in the know?"

"Mate?" I questioned, not liking the sound of that strange word.

Embry nodded. "Yeah, you know." He paused for a second, expecting me to know. "A wolf's imprintee."

My brows furrowed. Where had I heard that before? I looked over at Emily, who was looking at Embry with wide eyes. I glanced at Sam to see a hard expression, also looking at Embry. Finally, I looked at Paul, who was looking directly at me. "What does that mean? Imprinted? Imprintee? You guys say it and then go quiet." I turned to Sam, guessing that Embry and Paul wouldn't say anything without his command. "Sam?"

Sam took a deep breath. "Out," he said, looking at Embry and Paul. "Both of you."

Embry couldn't get out any faster. Paul, on the other hand, moved slow, glancing back at me before Sam caught his shoulder. He whispered something to him that I couldn't hear and Paul nodded, leaving the house.

Sam and Emily moved to sit at the table. Emily moved her hand over mine in comfort, but it only made me more stressed.

Sam, voice deep and sure, said, "Imprinting is something a shape-shifter will do. We don't know why we do it. It's a common belief that the shape-shifter will imprint on his 'perfect match' to ensure the highest chance of reproducing and carrying on the gene. Billy Black thinks its design is to make the shape-shifter stronger, but neither have been proven."

"Perfect match?" I shook my head. "So it's just like...falling in love?" I hated that phrase, but that was what it sounded most familiar to.

"Sort of," Sam confirmed. His hand touched Emily's shoulder, both of them looking at each other for a long moment before both looking at me. "It's more than that, it's -" He took a breath, straying from the rehearsed sounding speech to something more genuine. "It's a feeling that's hard to describe, like gravity, like you need to be near them and you're in pain when you're not." Emily's hand touched his shoulder gently. Sam continued. "Nothing else matters. You would do _anything_, be _anything _that they want - to please and protect them. They are the most important thing. The shifter's entire life is theirs."

Taking all of that in was hard. It took a minute to process. It almost made sense to me, considering everything else. I nodded slowly, the sick feeling in my stomach fading. I looked up at the two of them, then zoning in on Sam. "You chose to imprint on Emily?"

"I imprinted on Emily, yes, but I didn't choose."

The sick feeling in my stomach returned tenfold. "What?"

"The shape-shifter doesn't choose who he imprints on. He won't know he's imprinted until he's seen his mate."

The room seemed to tilt a little bit. I felt uneasy. "What if you're dating someone else?" Oh, my god, Leah. I shook my head, eyes wide. "What if the person you imprint on doesn't love you back?"

Sam kept a serious, unfazed expression. "It's highly unlikely."

My head titled. "But not impossible."

"The universe chooses a 'perfect match'. He would be anything she wanted. Rejection simply wouldn't happen. If it ever did, the shape-shifter would comply, as her happiness would be his first priority. If it makes the imprintee happy to not be with them, then that's what it is."

"Is what it is?" I said incredulously. "And the shifter just have to live with himself, in pain, for the rest of his life, hoping that she just might change her mind?"

Sam sighed, seeing my confused, shocked, and unsettled face. "I've never heard of a rejection happening."

I'll take that as a yes.

I felt myself start to breathe rapidly. My foot tapped against the ground. I stood from my chair suddenly, hearing the screech of the chair against the wooden floor.

"Hey," Paul whispered softly into my ear. I wasn't sure how or when he got there, but I was glad he was there. He put his hands on my shoulders - light and comforting. He turned me around, wrapping his arms around me.

I pressed my cheek against his bare chest, letting my eyes flutter closed.

Sam spoke up. "Nina, you need to understand that -"

"That's enough," Paul said strongly, his voice so low that it resembled a growl. "You said you would go easy on her."

"Enough." Emily's voice was stronger and more authoritative than both of theirs. "Both of you stop talking. Nina, come with me."

I leaned away from Paul, looking at him, waiting for something, I didn't even know what. Paul gave me what I didn't know I needed. He nodded and ran his hand along with arm, rubbing it. I turned away from him, taking Emily's hand and following her deeper into the house, to the very back room - the laundry room.

"What are we -"

Emily turned the laundry on and turned to me, arms crossed. "It's the only thing that'll keep them from hearing us."

I leaned against the door, hitting my head against it once, then looking to her. "Emily, tell me something good, please."

"I thought the same thing as you when Sam told me. I told him to go back to Leah, that I didn't want to see his face ever again." She spoke words that were hard to hear, but she smiled at the memory. "Sam is so stubborn. He wouldn't let me decide until I knew all the facts, and then once I did, I couldn't not have him. I fell in love with him faster than I thought was possible." She stepped forward, grabbing both of my hands. "The way they feel about you - it's the most incredible thing in the world. It's the strongest feeling I've ever felt and I'm not even a shape-shifter."

"Em..."

She squeezed my hands. "When the universe hands you the perfect someone on a silver platter - when they give you someone who loves you the way they describe it...you love them back. There's no rejection. You're not just mates, you're soulmates. I know Sam's happy."

I looked in her eyes, knowing she was telling the truth. "Are you happy?"

She smiled, not even having to answer the question just by the look on her face, though she did anyway. "The happiest I've ever been."

The way she described it and the complete and total happiness in her life was staggering. She made it sound like anything in the world could happen and, as long as she had Sam, it didn't matter.

I squeezed her hands back, chuckling a little. "Okay, you've convinced me."

When her own laughter faded, she smiled widely. "Me and Sam having each other, and Kim and Jared having each other..." She looked me over, her hands going from my hands to my face. "I just can't wait for the other boys to imprint."

I smiled at her, but one thought stuck in my mind. What if Paul imprinted? I felt the world tilt a little bit again, the sick feeling come back to my stomach. I closed my eyes momentarily, feeling Emily's hands slip away from me. I looked up at her, not feeling any less sick. I took it as too much information too fast. I sighed, reaching behind me to open the door. "I need some fresh air, I think."

When I made it outside, I sat on the steps on the porch for a little while, breathing in the fresh, just rained air. All of the plants outside of Sam and Emily's, lining the outside of the stairs and the edge of the porch, were so green. The wooden stairs were a little bit wet, but it didn't bother me, because it smelt so good. Everything smelt good and was green and beautiful and I started to feel not so sick.

I saw three wolves appear at the top of the hill that was the edge of the reserve. Sam's house was on the outskirts - just the way everyone liked it. One of them was Jared, the other Embry, and then the other was Paul.

Embry had dark gray fur that was straighter and shinier than the other wolves, just like his real hair was. He was just as tall as Jared and Paul but less wide. His movements were just that slight bit more swift. His nose had a long, very dark tuff of fur, making me easy to identify.

Paul and Jared's bodies were about the same, with Jared being barely noticeably bigger. His fur was less grey and more silver - a dark silver. The strands seemed course and waved a little bit. The muscles in his legs paralleled his muscular body in human form - mesmerizing, yet intimidating. He was gorgeous.

My life felt normal until I sat down and thought about how other people saw the world - without shape-shifters and vampires, legends, stories, or magic. I could have gone my whole life without knowing anything, much like the majority of the people in the world.

As I stared up at three beautiful creatures, I pitied those people.


	8. 7

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Twilight Saga

* * *

7 - mid march

Bella was a really nice girl. She looked a bit sad and bit lost at times, but she was nice, or at least from what I could gather. I had come to the shop to see Jake and ended up hanging around with the two of them.

They had been working on the bikes non-stop, it seemed. They both looked completely finished when I got there, but Jake insisted that one of them needed some last minute touch-ups, so I pulled up a chair next to Bella and stayed and chatted. Jake seemed fine with it, though I knew he would've preferred to be alone with her - but I couldn't go. I needed to get to know Bella better to see what kind of person she was.

The last thing Jake needed was the get his heartbroken, after Quil and Embry.

The more I talked to her, the more I liked her. She wasn't really charismatic, but there was a charm to her awkwardness. She seemed all over honest, which was good. We didn't have much in common and we weren't going to be friends, but I liked her enough to feel comfortable with her and Jake hanging out.

Jake's feelings for Bella were pretty transparent, but Bella either didn't notice or did a fantastic job of ignoring it. There were some things she said and did that made me think she felt something for him, but they were small, fleeting moments. That was the only part about her that made me wary - that she seemed unsure of her feelings. That wouldn't have been a bad thing if it weren't for the fact that Jake was so sure about his. I didn't have enough information to hold it against her.

"How could you ever leave Arizona?" I shook my head. If I felt the sun that way ever day, all the time, I would have never, ever left. "Oh, man, it must've been so nice there."

"I miss it sometimes," Bella admitted. She smiled just for a second and then glanced at Jake. When she looked back at me, her brows furrowed. "I don't know, I guess Forks is just more - more me, I guess."

"To each their own," I replied, staring at her, waiting for her to say something else. When she didn't, I said, "Why the bikes, anyway? It's not exactly a hobby you'd seem like you'd pick up." I didn't mean it as an insult.

Bella didn't take it as one. She laughed, her thin fingers finding her hair, combing through it. "Just needed something new." She thought for a second, gaze averting while she did. "Something exciting."

I nodded, a little bit impressed. "Adrenaline junkie." I leaned forward, hitting her thin arm. "I like it." I watched her laugh and I leaned back to sit in my stool.

"Finished." Jake stood quickly, looking to me and Bella with a cocky grin. He shrugged like it was no big deal, wiping the grease off of his hands. "Save your applause for the end."

Bella stood too, looking the most excited I had seen her thus far, which wasn't super excited, but something on the scale. She smiled, nodding her head. "Jake, you're amazing."

I stood too, watching as Jake took the bike off of its little stands or whatever those things were. As soon as it was on the ground, I walked over to it, running my hand over the thrifted seat. "Oh, yeah, baby." I glanced at Bella. "Nice ride."

Jake slapped the seat a couple of times. "Let's get out and try 'em then."

Bella nodded, managing a crackly chuckle. "Yeah. Yeah, please."

"I'll help you guys." I grabbed the other bike that was leaning up against the wall, taking it by the handles and wheeling it toward the wide shop doors.

"You're not going to come?" Bella asked, walking alongside Jake as he wheeled the other one out. "You _did _sit and watch with me. It was a group effort."

I laughed, glancing back at the two of them. "Bikes are more your guys' thing, I think." I looked forward too late, my food slipping down into a groove in the grass. I felt the sharp pain in my ankle as I fell over, letting go of the bike, letting it fall down onto me.

"Nina!"

I groaned loudly, feeling the bike being lifted from me. I looked up to see Jake, feeling the pain on the side of my body I landed on and the other side where the bike landed on and my goddamn ankle. It hurt, but not so badly that I felt I was seriously injured. "I'm okay," I said, taking both of their hands and coming to a stand. "I'm good."

"Oh, my god, your leg."

I followed Bella's eyes, seeing there was a rip in my jeans, right on the side of my calf. Thankfully, the jeans got most of whatever the sharp-ish object on the bike was the got me and the scratch that was underneath wasn't bad. It was bad enough to be bleeding. It was bad enough to really hurt, but I knew I could go home and wash it over and be back to normal.

"Maybe we should -"

I shook my head, taking my hands back from them. "I'm fine, really. I think this just proves that bikes aren't my thing." I shifted on my feet, feeling the pain in my ankle too. I waved my hand dismissively. "I'm good."

Jake and Bella looked at each other, each nodding timidly. Jake lifted the bikes into the back of the truck, making my brows furrow.

"Aren't those -"

"Really heavy?" Bella was standing next to me, watching the same thing I was - Jacob Black lifting two big, heavy bike into the back of Bella's truck.

Now that I realized, Jake grew exceptionally more muscular over the last couple of months. I didn't think too much of it, since he was working so hard. The longer I looked at him, the more I saw the resemblance of the big, rounded muscles that I had seen on a few other people. His muscles would've made him strong, but strong enough to do that...I wasn't sure.

Was it possible that...Jake was going to turn soon?

"Right." I nodded, turning to Bella and putting my hand on her arm briefly, smiling kindly. "Good luck with those death machines."

She smiled back, nodding, and then her eyes widened. "Oh, I'm sorry." She looked at my leg for a second. "You need a ride, right?"

If they were headed to the empty, safe field I thought they were, it was in the opposite direction of Sam's.

I started walking, trying my hardest to stuck it up and not limp. "I'm good." I kept walking forward, feeling the pain intensifying every couple of seconds. "I'm going the opposite way, anyway." I kept walking, not giving Bella or Jake that chance to respond.

Bella and Jake got into her truck and they drove off down the road, turning, just like I thought, the opposite way I was going. I waited until they were far enough down that I would look like an ant in their rearview.

"Oh, shit," I let out, starting into a limp. I seethed as I walked along, trying to not put any more pressure than needed on my ankle. As time went on, slowly, my ankle felt a little bit better. I wish it was fine because I would've already been at Sam's.

It was cloudy, but not raining, which I was thankful for. The air got warmer every day, but it was still a little bit nippy.

I zipped my jacket all the way up, stopping to roll my jeans up. The feeling of the fabric rubbing against my cut was hurting. Once I stood straight, I slowly walked all the way to Sam's place, only to find it empty.

I hopped up the stairs, hoping at least Emily would've been home, but to no avail. I walked through the house to the bathroom, opening up the cupboards, looking for some sort of anti-whatever to help with the pain, but I couldn't find anything. I groaned, heading back down the hall to the kitchen, figuring that would be easiest place to wash the blood off of when I washed my cut.

I stopped when I reached the end of the hallway, taking a small rest against the end of the couch. I looked down at my ankle - slightly swollen, but nothing concerning. The cut looked gross, though - bloody and dirty. I sighed in exhaustion, letting myself fall backward onto the couch, my legs hanging over. I closed my eyes, only making the pain more noticeable.

I sat up to push myself off the couch and finally wash the thing out and I heard the sound of deep laughter outside. I sighed in relief, holding myself up so that I could see the doorway.

Sam walked in first, not seeming to notice me right away.

Jared walked in behind him, noticing me, but not my leg. "Nina?"

Paul walking in after Jared, noticing my leg before anything else. He walked over to me quickly, not waiting for me to give him his hand as he pulled the front of my jacket, yanking me to sit up straight on the arm rest of the couch. He checked my face first, probably seeing some dirt but no cuts. He then looked at my leg, holding it in his hands. "What happened?"

"I was at Jake's shop with Bella while Jake was working on her bikes." Jared handed Paul a wet cloth as I explained. "After Jake finished up, I was taking one of the bikes out to the truck -" I sucked in a breath as Paul pressed the cloth to my leg. I reached out, squeezing his hard shoulder. "And I tripped and the bike fell on top of me."

Paul's hands were decently gentle but his face was anything but. That look - he was angry, really angry. "You should've never been over there."

"Why?"

"Bikes are dangerous."

"Paul, I wasn't even riding it," I reminded him, finding his words ridiculous. "It was just a stupid accident that was no one's fault but my own." I stopped squeezing his shoulder, but I kept my hand there, rubbing instead.

Jared crossed his arms behind Paul, smirking. "We'll tell everyone you were riding it, though. More badass."

Embry, Jared, and Sam started to disperse, probably looking for food.

"Sam," I called, making him walk back over to me. "Jake, he..." I didn't have to finish. It looked like Sam knew what I was going to say before I said it. "He's changing." Sam nodded, walking away again, but I called for him yet again. "Sam."

He turned back, the same look on his face. "Yeah?"

"Where the hell do you keep you pain medication around here?"

Sam chuckled, turning and walking toward the kitchen. "Don't need it, Nina. Shape-shifters, remember?"

Well, that's inconsiderate for the humans.

I looked down at Paul, watching him dab my cut, sort of roughly. My brows furrowed at the pain and I shifted uncomfortably, shaking my leg to make him stop. "God, Paul, could you be any worse at this?"

He grabbed my ankle - not my hurt one - roughly, holding my leg in place. "You're the one that got all the dirt in it." He did another rough swipe. "And decided to let a bike fall on you."

I pushed his shoulder as hard as I could, making him lean back far enough for me to get up and walk past him, toward the front door. I said a quick goodbye to the boys, walking out onto the porch. I walked down the first step, pursing my lips at the pressure on the ankle.

Paul was at my side in a second, wrapping his strong arm around my waist, pulling me against him and lifting me up. He quickly walked down the steps and then set me down. He had his truck keys in his hand. "Home?"

I turned to him, arms on my hips, as comical as it might've looked. "I didn't _let _the bike fall on me." He opened his mouth to say something, even raising a firm finger, but I beat him to it. "It was an accident - accidents happen. Bikes are dangerous, the world is dangerous - sue me!" I turned and started to walk again.

Paul didn't say anything. He just wrapped one arm around my back, the other arm under my legs. He lifted me like I was five pounds. He walked over to his truck, opening the passenger door while still holding me. He placed me sideways in the passenger side. His hands landed on my knees. "Look, I'm sorry, okay, it's just -" His jaw tightened and he unintentionally dug his fingers into my legs. "Jacob -" He spit out, like poison in his mouth. "Should've never let you near that thing."

I put my hands over his, figuring that one of us had to be the calm one. "It was not Jake's fault. It was all me." I sighed, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. "It was me not paying attention."

He looked at me, our eyes almost level. He seemed much calmer. I don't know if he noticed, but his hands were rubbing my legs, moving upward slightly. He just looked at me, jaw relaxing and eyes softening. "Try to me more careful." He huffed. "For my sake."

I wanted to put my hands on his face and tell him that I would try.

I forced myself to laugh instead. "The more time we spend together, the more like my mom you get."

Paul found it funny, I could tell, but he didn't laugh. He moved my legs to rest inside the truck and he shut the door. With the window rolled down, I heard him say, "You're hilarious, Nina."

* * *

"That's not funny!" I moved to grab my digital camera out of Paul's hand. Before I could, the camera went flying in the air, landing in Jared's hands. "Stop!"

I didn't keep a diary, but my camera was something similar to that. I didn't take a lot of photos, but I never deleted any. Every photo was a memory to look back on, no matter how embarrassing it seemed at the time - that was my philosophy. It was a good thing to live by, I thought, or at least I did until Jared found my camera, going through all of my photos. That camera held all of my secrets. More importantly, that camera had all the photos from me finding my mom's lipstick for the first time.

Jared laughed loudly, going so far as to clutch his stomach. "Oh, my god!"

It wasn't _that _funny.

"Jared!" I yanked on his arm, not being able to grab the camera, but it did make him drop the thing.

It rolled across the grass and I leaped for it at the same time as Jared. Jared advanced forward as Paul wrapped his arms around me, picking me up and spinning me away.

"No!" I tried to wiggle from Paul's grasp, a little disoriented from the spinning as well as the loud laughter from the both of them.

Paul set me down on the ground, but his arms stayed tight around me. I watched helplessly and Jared kept looking through all of the photos and Paul's lips grazed against my ear as he whispered, "You should've destroyed that thing when you had the chance."

I pouted, seeing Jared's joy at the awful photos. "There are a lot of terrible photos on there." Paul let go of me and I adjusted my shirt. "But there are some good memories too."

As if on cue, Jared held the camera out, looking at the two of us. "You guys have to see this." We both walked over to him and he held the camera steady as all three of us squinted to see.

It was a photo I had taken of a printed out photo. It was Jared, Paul, and I on La Push beach with our towels wrapped around ourselves, huddled together for warmth, looking back at the camera and squinting. We looked like we were about six or seven.

"Awe," I cooed, remembering how many days the three of us had spent at the beach, begging our parents to let us stay when they told us to get in the car. My heart warmed at the memory. "That feels like it was forever ago."

"Look at how cute I was."

I elbowed Jared, trying to to laugh with him. "We were _all _cute." I looked beside me at Paul, leaning back into his chest. "Even you, Paul."

He narrowed his eyes at me, a forced smile on his face. "Gee, thanks, Nina."

I laughed, bumping into him. I looked back at the camera, taking that sweet moment as an opportunity to grab the camera. I laughed triumphantly, taking a couple big steps forward and then spinning around the wave the camera in the air.

Jared and Paul made their way towards me, but slowly and casually, seeming to be done with my torture. When they were done with one thing, they moved onto the next.

"Race you to Sam's."

We were about halfway to Sam's from Jared's already. I really didn't want to run the rest of it and there was also no way I would be able to keep up with them. If I didn't run, though, I would be left completely in the dust.

The three of us started on a run, Jared and Paul's long and strong legs carried them twice as far as me twice as fast. It was really unfair for me to race against two shape-shifters. I ran away, watching Paul and Jared from far back. It took a couple of minutes of running until I reached Sam's, coming to a stop at the front door, finding myself alone. I waited a full minute to catch my breath before I walked inside of the house.

The boys were at the table, like they always were. And they were eating, like they always were.

I sat down with them at the table, still breathing a little sporadically. I grabbed a muffin, quickly glancing at Jared and Paul. "You guys are assholes." I held the muffin to my mouth, eager to take a big bite. I looked up at the creaking of the wooden floor, seeing Jake. "Jake..."

He was shirtless, displaying his muscular body to the world. He had on a pair of jean cut-offs and no shoes. His long, black hair was no more. Instead it was cropped short, just like all the other boys. The was the same tattoo on his upper right arm, but it looked a little red, like it was fresh.

I stood quickly as he walked over to me. I had a sympathetic face. "Jacob," I said softly, holding out my arms as he got closer. I was surprised when he brushed past me, running out of the house. I watched him go, waiting until I couldn't see him anymore to turn around and look at everyone else. "When?"

"Late last night," Sam said, leaning against the kitchen counter. "He's still getting used to everything."

I sat down, feeling my heart break a little bit for him.

It must've been so hard to have your entire world shake around you - to find out you're not who you thought - to find out you're apart of something so big.

I felt my heart beat faster, worrying that Jake was mad at me for not saying anything to him. I looked up at Sam. "He seemed upset."

Sam sighed. "He just phased for the first time. His emotions are a total mess. All night and all morning he was switching between being happy about all of the advantages and being mad at us for not telling him what was going on." Sam moved to sit at the table. "He's conflicted. He thinks he's bad and dangerous, but he only thinks that because he hasn't learned how to control himself yet."

"He'll learn," Jared said, actually swallowing his muffin before speaking. "Just like we did."

"Once his mood swings stop -" Embry let go of his muffin to bring his arm up to flex. "He'll love it." His muscles bulged and then he looked at me, pursing his lips and making a kissing sound. Suddenly, his eyes widened, arm falling quickly as he leaned down to rub his leg, like someone had kicked him. "Ouch!" He glared at Paul.

Paul smiled smugly, his arm resting on the back of my chair. "Don't make me do it again, Call."

I knew Jake would forgive me. I knew that the boys were right and that when Jake realized that he wasn't some monster, that he could protect the people he loved so easily now, he wouldn't be so upset. It was just the in between that sucked. I didn't want him to be hurting, even if it was essential to getting towards his new and improved self.

Improved.

My mind quickly went to imprinting. I wondered if he knew. I looked at Sam again. "And you told him everything? Phasing, vampires, imprinting...?"

Sam nodded, grabbing a muffin for himself. "He knows everything. He just needs time and training." Sam looked at me. "And space."

"He means from you," Paul pointed out, just in case I didn't understand. "Jake's not safe to be around right now."

I shook my head. "He would never hurt me."

Paul's hand went from the back of the chair to my chin, pulling my face to look at him. He looked a little angry, a little annoyed, and very, very serious. "We're not taking that risk." He let go of my chin, resting his hand on my shoulder. "There's no more going over to his place and hanging out in his shop. None of that until Jake's ready."

I considered for a moment, taking a breath and thinking about it before nodding slowly and a little sadly. "Ok."

"Whenever it's safe, we will let you know," Jared said quickly, seeing my disappointment.

I nodded again, looking down at the dark wood of the table and hoping for Jake's transition to be painless and peaceful.


	9. 8

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Twilight Saga

* * *

8 - early april

It was raining - pouring, actually. It never rained this hard this long anywhere else except for the Forks/La Push area. Sometimes I just wanted it to stop, but most times, I was okay with it. The rain was soothing, in sound and appearance. Soothing and mesmerizing.

I was supposed to be reading, for english class, but I couldn't help but to look outside the massive windows that line every wall in Jared's house. It was too easy. Watching that rain come down so hard for so long was easy to look out - the damp ground and the flushed, green trees. The sound was the perfect background noise to get lost in my mind - thinking about anything that came to me.

Jake was at the front of my mind most often in the last couple of weeks. Ever since seeing him at Sam's, I had seen him a couple more times, at Sam's only. Paul and Jared told me not to go over to his place. When I saw him at Sam's, sometimes he was in a good mood and sometimes he wasn't, but it never mattered what mood he was in because he never seemed to want to talk to me.

I knew most of the anger an emotions revolving being a shape-shifter was mostly gone, though those emotions seemed to return quick at the mention of Bella Swan. For the most part, though, he was doing much better. The boys were taking him in, like family, like they did all the other boys. They spent all their time together and Jake majorly changed his tune for Sam and every one he used to make fun of.

He was doing so much better, so what was the problem? I assumed he was mad at me for not telling him, but it seemed like more of a minor thing as time went on. He knew that not letting every one in on this secret was important. He knew the dangers that came with it. He had to understand why I didn't say anything.

And he would understand. Because I would explain it to him.

Jared's dad's raincoat was way too big for me and it was almost bright, right red. When I ran, I had to hold the hood up or else it slid over my eyes. I ran most of the way, meaning that I was holding the hood up pretty much the whole time. I was wearing Jared's old rain boots which were too big and flopping all around. About halfway there, the rain let up and I took it as a good sign. I still had to go the rest of the way in the massive coat and boots. By the time I got to Jake's place, I was exhausted.

I knocked quickly on the door, still holding my hood for the very light, barely noticeable speckles of rain that still were coming down. As I knocked, the door slowly opened to Billy Black. I shuddered in the cold, not waiting for a response. "Is Jake in?"

Billy pulled on the wheels of his wheelchair, moving aside slightly. With his long, dark hair and the cowboy hat on his head and the thick jean jackets he always seemed to be wearing, Billy was the proud unofficial chief. He was also a really nice guy - funny, smart, and really protective of Jake. I was a little surprised he let me in so easily.

Then I discovered why.

It was because Bella Swan was already there.

She must've gotten there mere moments before I did. She was standing, hand still on the doorknob of Jake's room. She was silent, staring at his quiet, relaxed, sleeping body. She went from tense to relaxed in an instant.

"Bella?" I whispered, pushing my hood back from my face.

She turned around, eyes meeting mine. She opened her mouth to speak, but never got the chance. The very familiar sounds of the call made by Sam and all the boys rang out in grassy area between the Black house and the trees. Her head whipped to the window. I barely got a look at her face before she ran past me, moving faster and more sure of herself than I had ever seen her.

I did my best to close Jake's door quietly, thought it wouldn't have mattered within the next couple of seconds when I realized I was hearing Bella yelling. I ran to the front door, squinting through the drops rolling off of my wet hood and in my line of vision to try and see the commotion.

I could see all four boys - Sam, Jared, Paul, and Embry, all in a close line, and then Bella in front of them. I yanked my hood back way from my eyes. The longer I looked, the clearer it became. She was yelling them - I could hear her from the house - the volume, but not the words. I could see better than I could hear and what I saw was that Bella pulled her arm back and then brought it down, slapping Paul swiftly across the face.

My jaw dropped in shock, eyes widening. Paul wasn't as angry as he used to be, but it didn't mean he was immune to his outburst. If a slap across the face didn't do it, I didn't know what would. I could see Bella take a couple of steps back, as well as Paul breathing heavily. I could hear and see loud and clear - Paul shifted. His clothes came a thousand little pieces and his body became low, jaw snapping harshly, teeth bared.

"Paul!" I yelled out at the exact moment that Jake's shoulder ran into mine, calling out himself, to Bella. His voice was louder and more powerful than mine, ringing through the grassy field with conviction.

"Bella!"

"Run!" Bella was running towards Jake, who had already hopped over the fence surrounding his deck to get to her. "Jake, run!"

They both ran fast. Once they got close enough, Bella fell to the ground, Jake springing over her and shifting mid-air. He landed far away, close to Paul, with his paws surely denting the soft grass. You could hear the vicious growls of both wolves. You could see the tightening of their muscles as the moved in a circle before Jake ran forward, immediately engaging in a rough fight with Paul.

I couldn't watch, so I ran from the steps, as far as I needed to go until I reached Bella. I kneeled down beside her, grabbing her arm to help her up. "You okay?"

Bella leaned heavily on me, standing with all the shock in her face resting mostly in her eyes, some in her opened mouth. She stared only at them, mesmerized by them like I was the rain. Her hand drifted out and I noticed it was shaking.

I took her hand in mine, making her finally look away to me. "It's okay," I told her, nodding my head as a tactic to promise her it was okay when really I had no idea if it was.

I knew that Jake could never hurt Paul. I knew that Paul was angry, but would never hurt Jake. Still, they needed to get it out of their systems, for their sakes and for ours.

When Bella I looked back at Jake and Paul, they were bouncing off the uneven terrain, heading towards the thick trees. They rolled into them easily, disappearing from our view quickly.

"Hey!" I looked at Sam, seeing that he was looking at me, serious expression as per usual. "Take Bella back to Emily's place."

Embry and Paul walked towards us as Sam went sprinting into the woods.

"Guess the wolf's out of the bag."

I shook my head at Embry, still holding Bella's trembling hands. "Not the time maybe?" I looked at Bella, who was still shocked. I reached into her pocket, grabbing the keys to her old, orange truck. I tossed them to Jared. "Let's go."

Embry and Jared ran towards the truck with Jared getting in the driver's side and Embry in the box. Bella and I got in the passenger side, doing up our seat belts and turning on the heat. Jared pulled away from Jake's place, starting on the uneven road toward Emily's outskirt villa.

I watched her look out the window, wondering what was going on in her mind. Not the same thing as when I found out. I had all the history, she didn't. I reached out, putting my hand on her leg. I smiled at her when her eyes met mine. "It'll make sense. Try not to worry."

She nodded, turning and looking out the window again.

When we reached Emily's, Bella seemed in better spirits. Jared and Embry got out of the truck, calling in their stupid way to the house. I followed Jared's lead, grabbing the keys on the way out. Bella moved slowly, sticking only her head out the window and looking back toward the trees.

"Hey I think we should go back and see if Jacob's okay."

I was going to tell her it would be fine, but Jared beat me to it with a less delicate approach.

"I hope Paul sinks some teeth into him. Serves him right."

Embry shook his head. "No way. Jacob's a natural. You see him phase on the fly?" He started to smile confidently, looking between Jared and me. "I got five says Paul doesn't touch him."

The three of us stopped walking, turning slowly to see Bella still in the front see.

Embry called out, as if he hadn't done enough talking. "Come on in, Bella! We won't bite."

Jared chuckled lightly, probably enjoying the excitement of someone else finding out and being shocked. "Speak for yourself."

This couldn't have been fun for her.

"Bella, you might not want to be here with us, but it's the only choice you have right now." I started walking towards the front door, where Jared and Embry were already slipping through. I nodded to the house. "Come on."

Bella came out of the truck, walking slowly toward the house, offering the smallest and most timid of smiles to me.

I chuckled softly, grabbing her arm and pulling her gently toward the house. I stopped quickly, realizing there was one more thing she might've been shocked by. I dropped my voice. "This is Sam's fiancee's house. When you see her..." I wasn't sure how to put the first gut reaction to the deep scars across Emily's face. "Don't stare. It bugs Sam and I'm sure it also bugs her."

We all made it inside the house, Bella last. Jared and Embry were already at the rounded table, massive muffins in their hands.

"Are you guys hungry?" Emily questioned, the softness and gentleness coming through voice as she stacked the muffins neatly on a tray. When she looked up, she saw me first and then Bella. Her eyes darted to Jared quickly and then back to Bella. "Who's this?"

"Bella Swan. Who else?"

As someone Jake talked about a lot, she was sort of a household name in here.

Emily hummed, that familiar smile coming to her face, lightening up the mood and the room, making it feel warmer and more comfortable. "So, you're the vampire girl?"

Bella seemed sort of comforted by Emily. "So, you're the wolf girl?"

Emily nodded and chuckled just barely. She wasn't used to hearing that. "Guess so." She glanced at me and then picked up her trays of many delicious-looking muffins. "Well, I'm engaged to one." She set it down on the table. Jared and Embry, who had devoured their muffins, reached out to take more, but Emily smacked their hands. "Save some for your brothers." She shoved both of them. "And ladies first." She looked to Bella, gesturing to the irresistible goods. "Muffin?"

I was already at the table grabbing one when I heard Bella say, "Sure. Thanks."

Bella and I stood and I took my time with my muffin as Jared and Embry seemed to eat theirs in three or four bites.

"Leave it to Jacob to find a way around Sam's gag order," Emily said, making me think that the gag order wasn't really serving the purpose that Sam hoped it would. It was Billy Black, Harry Clearwater, Emily, Kim, me, and now Bella that knew about them. That was probably six too many for Sam.

"Um, he didn't say anything to me." Bella held her muffin in her nervous hands, yet to take a bite.

Embry spoke up. He was loving the sound of his voice today. "That's a wolf thing. Alpha's orders get obeyed whether we want them to or not. Oh, and check it out -" He continued. "We can hear each other's thoughts."

"Would you shut up?" Jared said, to my pleasure. "These are trade secrets." He looked right at Bella, unwavering. "Damnit! This chick runs with vampires."

Bella's brows furrowed, her lips pressing together in what I recognized from being around her and Jake as an incoming deflect. "You can't really run with vampires." All silence but Emily's giggle, who seemed more than pleased with the look on Jared's face. "Cause they're fast."

"Yeah?" Jared wasn't convinced. "Well, we're faster. Freaked out yet?"

Bella smiled for a really small second and then she shook her head. "You're not the first monsters I've met."

"Jake's right. You're good with weird." Sam suddenly appeared in the doorway, taking all of us without super hearing by surprise. He walked into the house, automatically to Emily. He reached her, both of them smiling as he bent down at the knees to kiss her. When they parted, he kissed her face, causing her to laugh.

That moment was interrupted by more laughter - from Jake and Paul, who came into the house, all playful shove and smiles, to everyone's relief.

I watched Paul as he made his way over to me, taking a seat in the chair I already had my hands on. My hands fell to his shoulders, giving them a discreet squeeze, even though I was sure both Sam and Jake told him and apology was in order.

Paul looked over his shoulder at Bella, a charming, very unapologetic smile on his lips. "Sorry."

I smiled too, just by watching him. I put my hands under Paul's chin, making his head tilt back so that he could see my face. "You can't do any better than that, Lahote?"

His smiled remained. "I can only give so much, Nina."

I let go of him, moving to sit in the chair beside him. I noticed as I sat that Bella and Jake were heading out of the house. As they walked, Jake's big hands swung at his sides and Bella's hand were stuffed deep into her pockets. They looked like good friends, but a match, I didn't know.

The rest of us sat down at the table, Emily and I keeping them talking as to try and give Jake and Bella some privacy. When it came around to asking the question that had been on my mind, I asked Embry because I knew it would take the least amount of convincing.

I just had to get Embry alone.

"Em, weren't you talking about some birds nest or something around the house?" I asked.

Embry had talked - more like bragged - about it a couple of times. He said there was a nest of newly hatched birds, but no signs of a mother. He's claimed that they had taken to him and he was now responsible for their well-being until they could fly away. It sounded delusional to all of the boys, but Embry seemed proud.

"You haven't seen them yet?"

I shook my head, already smiling. "Want to show me?"

Embry nearly dragged me outside, even though I went willingly - just not fast enough for him, I guess. Once we were outside, walking along the house to get to the back, I bumped my shoulder against his and he looked down at me.

"What is it?" he asked, his smile mirroring mine. Just because Embry wasn't as smart as the other boys didn't mean he wasn't smart.

"About Jake..." It hurt to talk about him a little, since we were still at odds a little. I hated that I had to ask Embry instead of asking Jake myself, I just didn't want to risk a fight about the sensitive subject. "Has he imprinted?"

Embry hesitated a long moment, but still shook his head. "No."

Obviously, he had seen Bella, and he still hadn't imprinted. I couldn't imagine. Jake seemed to have such strong feelings for her - romantic ones, at that. And then he doesn't even imprint on her. I imagined it was annoying, confusing, and frustrating for him.

"How's Jake doing with that?"

"Not great, I'l be honest," Embry told me, long arms swinging at his sides as we approached the nest. He reached his hand up and the birds chirped. "My little babies."

They were really, really small and sort of gross-looking, if I was being honest. But the sounds they made were adorable enough for me to coo at them aloud, reaching up to touch my own very tentative finger against them.

"The resemblance is uncanny," I teased.

"Ha-ha," Embry mocked, but smiled genuinely. I knew he always thought I was funny. "They grow up pretty fast, so it won't be too long before they'll fly away and never come back."

"Maybe they will one day." Probably not, but it didn't hurt to hope. "You can always hope they'll come back."

"Maybe tell Jake that."

"Is he really that upset?" I asked. I knew he would be, but it would've brought him some level of comfort, no? Knowing that there was someone else out there that was for him - a literal soulmate set up by the universe.

Embry sighed, hand falling back down. "Jake'll imprint one day and maybe he'll start being nicer." Embry laughed to himself as we turned to walk back. "Anyone who has imprinted has become ten times nicer. Sam doesn't yell as much, though I have to say Jared's always been pretty chill. It's Paul that's had the biggest change."

I walked in step with Embry, brows furrowing. "The biggest change?"

"Yeah, since imprinting." As soon as Embry finished his sentence, his eyes widened at me. It was like second nature for him to go into panic mode, gripping my arms at my sides and holding me tight. "Don't tell Paul I told you. Don't tell Sam!"

I shook my head quickly, the feeling of Embry's hands on my arm too tight for me to do anything else. "I won't!"

Embry let go and nodded stiffly, taking a deep breath. "Okay." He looked down at me. "You okay?"

I nodded too, though my stomach felt anything but okay. Or maybe it was my chest. Either way, something felt wrong, like I didn't feel good. My stomach was flipped and my chest was tight and my mind was running off a mile a minute, not being able to grasp onto a single thought.

Paul imprinted?

* * *

The rumbling of the truck died out, leaving the two of us to sit in silence.

I looked at Jared's house. It looked so empty, I doubted Jared and Kim were even in there.

I had been thinking the whole ride, but I never reached a decision on what to do or how to go about Embry's accidental information. I had to say something. Even if I wasn't going to, I should've. I knew how dangerous things were for all of the boys - with the vampires they refused to tell me much about, but seemed pretty damn worried about. Their worry made me worry. What if something happened and Paul and I were stuck how we were right then and there - just barely there, but not.

I sat for too long, staring at that house.

"You're not asleep, are you?" Paul pushed his head out, trying to get a good look at my face.

I laughed, releasing a little bit of that nervous energy. I looked at his face - his strong, handsome face - and I wondered how I could ever be nervous around Paul. He was the person I had grown up with. I knew everything about him and he knew everything about me - everything with the exception of his imprinting.

Since the second Embry mentioned it, the thought never left my mind. Paul had imprinted on someone - his mate; his soulmate. He had a perfect someone in this world that...that wasn't me.

"Seriously, Nina." Paul threw his arm over the back of the truck seat, turning his body to face me more. "What's going on?"

I looked him over, seeing his chest rise and fall with every breath and his longer finger play with the top of the seat. He stared at me, unwavering and unfazed. He wasn't scared of anything. It was dark in the truck, but the sky was weirdly clear, allowing for the moonlight to shine in on us. It was such a quiet, easy, relaxing environment. It was perfect. He was perfect. The thought of another person thinking the same things I thought hurt me. The thought of someone doing stuff with Paul that I had only imagined doing _killed _me.

I followed his movements, putting my arm over the back of the truck, turning to face him. I wanted to be comfortable and I wanted him to be comfortable and I wanted to have the terrible conversation and then go back to how things were. The longer I looked at him, the more I doubted my ability to be able to restrain myself. The longer I looked at him, the more it hurt.

I was still trying to think of what to say when Paul's face relaxed into a knowing look. Just as fast, his jaw tightened like he was pressing his teeth together. "Who told you?"

"Embry," I answered quickly, feeling the tug at the corner of my mouth. "Accidentally."

Paul stared at me, eyes dark, shaking his head slowly. "I wanted to be the one to tell you."

"Hey, it's okay." I moved across the seat, letting the feeling of being close to him soothe the pain of the whole situation. I couldn't not touch him, so I reached up, putting my hand on his face, patting lightly. "You know Embry can't keep a secret." I laughed, my vision slowly blurring from the outside. I quickly turned away from him, wiping my eyes, suddenly embarrassed.

Paul put his hand on my face just like I had, but his hand was much warmer and much more comforting. He turned me to face him, his eyebrows furrowed. "Why are you crying?"

I chuckled, trying to find any light at all in the shit situation. "If she's prettier than me, I'll hate you forever."

"What?" Paul chuckled a little bit as well, eyes searching mine desperately.

I had to force myself to ask. I needed to prepare myself to start seeing whoever she was around. I didn't want to be taken off guard.

"Who is she, Paul?" I let out a breath, expecting it to help. My chest only tightened more. I blinked back any more embarrassing tears. "Who did you imprint on?"

He kept searching my eyes, probably getting all of the hurt and helplessness relayed back to him. His mouth moved, forming into a genuine, big smile. He grabbed the front of my jacket, yanking the jacket and me close to him. He pressed his lips against mine, letting go of my jacket to put his hand on the back of my head.

My arms wrapped around his neck, pressing my body into his as our lips moved against each other. His lips were soft and wet and exactly how I imagined they would be. I moved into his lap, feeling a rush I could explain. My need to touch him was intensified, possessing my hands to roam over his back, to his chest, his shoulders and then his hair, losing my fingers in the course strands.

Paul's arms were around me, encompassing me in his warmth. His hands were strong and rough and _better _than I imagined they would be. His hands were under my shirt, feeling over my bare back. They moved down to my butt. I hadn't realized until he squeezed my backside, making me push my hips into him. Both of us groaned loudly, forcing us to separate.

I breathed heavily, looking at him and surveying his expression.

It wasn't until we were parted that my mind had time to think about what this meant. Sam said that when you imprinted, it was one person - just one. They would never look, touch, or think about another girl.

"It's me, isn't it?" I said through my breaths. "You imprinted on me?"

Paul starting to smile again. I didn't know if I had seen him smile so much in such a short amount of time. This one was more cocky than it was genuine, though. "Good thing you're pretty."

I chuckled, leaning back to get a better look at the view of him. He was breathing a good amount heavy too, hair sticking up and dishevelled, but happy regardless. I shook my head at him. "You can't blame me. It's not like you told me."

Paul hadn't told me. No one told me. The only reason I knew was because Embry was a loud mouth who couldn't keep a secret.

Those thoughts stuck in my mind as I looked at him. His facial expression, changed with me. He tilted his head, smile fading slightly. "Nina?"

I couldn't believe him.

I pushed hard on his shoulder, getting out his lap faster than even he could register. I yanked on the door handle, hopping out and then slamming the door shut, hoping that it would fall off the hinges.

Paul's door slammed shut too. "Nina!" His heavy footsteps came after me as I anticipated. He reached for my hand.

I pulled it away from him before he could grab it. I turned to him, feeling the heat rise up from my stomach to my chest. "How could you not tell me? After all this time?" My voice was pretty loud for how close we were, but I couldn't control it. "Since _August_?!" I opened the front door, trying to swing it behind me.

Paul caught it by the frame, slamming it hard behind him anyway. My anger was feeding into his and vice versa. His jaw was tight, hands trembling as he walked towards me. "Sam told me not to tell you." His voice was deep and quiet.

He wasn't scaring me.

"You could've told me months ago!"

"I was obeying orders!" Paul's voice was no longer low and quiet. It was still deep, but it was so loud that it rang through the entire house. I thought I felt a shake, but I could've imagined it. "I wanted to tell you!"

"You're not Sam's puppet!" I yelled back, the heat between the two of us so unbearable I was losing my ability to think. "You could've told me, just admit it!"

I saw the red creeping up onto his neck. "I wasn't saying anything until I was sure!"

Unbelievable! "Of what?!"

Paul's eyes widened, his hands balled up tight, the red on his neck becoming more apparent. There was a small second - so small you couldn't missed it - where I saw his eyes change. After I blinked, he was turned around, his fist slamming against the wall.

I was shocked his hand didn't go through the wall. Despite it, I wasn't scared, but I _was_ guilty. I never, ever wanted to egg him on and I still did. I never wanted him to hurt and I still hurt him.

I stepped forward, my hands reaching out as the heat inside my own body subsided. "Paul -"

"Stand back," he said, the command sounding like a growl.

I ignored his advice, pressing both my hands over the muscles of his back, rubbing his tense back until I felt him relax enough for me to grab his arm and turn him around to face me. I put my hands on his face, urging him to open his eyes. "Look at me."

Paul opened his eyes, looking exclusively over my head. When I pleaded again, his eyes fell down to me, dark and defeated. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," I said strongly, not being able to stand it. I took a step closer, my hands falling to his chest. "I'm the one who's sorry."

He slumped agains the wall, craning his neck to bring his face closer to mine. "You need to decide if this is what you really want. It could be dangerous. After what Sam did to Emily..." He was speaking like he thought I had already decided that I didn't want him. "I'd understand if it isn't what you want."

"No, you wouldn't."

"No, I wouldn't," he admitted. "But I would live with it, if it's what you decide."

I sighed in relief. Know that now that he was finally done saying his piece, I got to say mine. "I don't know why, so don't ask me, but I want this. I want you." I was almost embarrassed at how sappy it sounded.

Paul pushed himself off of the wall, displaying his whole stature to me. Me saying that to him restored his comfort, as well as his ego, in a matter of a millisecond. "I knew you were into me."

I took a step away from him, tired and a little annoyed. "You're gonna tease me? Now? Right now? This is the moment you've chosen to -"

One step forward and Paul was able to wrap his arms around me, picking me up easily, forcing me to latch onto him. He kissed me - hard. I responded immediately by kissing him back.

Exactly how I had imagined.


	10. 9

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Twilight Saga

* * *

9 - early may

"Okay, but do you like these more than the last ones?"

I stared at her legs, trying to remember what the the pair of jeans she had on before looked like. Besides the varying colour, the jeans looked like the last four she had on so I just smiled and said, "They're nice."

Kim turned toward the mirror, running her hands along her thighs. She titled her head examining closely. "Do you like the light was or the darker one better?"

"Darker." I wasn't completely useless.

I did enjoy shopping. I liked going to stores and browsing around and I liked treating myself to new clothes every once in a while, but I tired easily. You could only look at so many clothes before it got boring. My arms were tired from pushing hangers around and my feet were sore from all the walking.

Kim was never tired - not from shopping at least.

She tugged on the shirt, pulling it up. "What about the top?"

I shrugged, not liking it nearly as much as the other ones she had modeled. "I don't know. Something about the fit is just..."

"I have no boobs." Kim looked at me through the mirror, laughing lightly. "You can say it." Kim was flat-chested, but only because she was so thin every where. It only made sense proportionally. That was one of the many things that Kim complained about. "You should try this top on."

I shook my head, really not feeling like taking my shirt off for what felt like the eightieth time that day. "No, I'm okay."

Kim never took no for an answer, so it wasn't very long before I was pushing aside the dressing room curtain and walking out to stand in front of the mirror. Kim smiled when she saw me. "A perfect fit."

Kim and I had similar body types, except that I was a little bit shorter than she was. My chest wasn't much bigger than hers, but the top did fit me better than her. Still, it just wasn't my style with the black fabric and v-neck cutting down into my cleavage.

I watched Kim look over my body. When her eyes met mine, I rose my eyebrows, smirking at her. "Are you done checking me out?"

She walked toward me, taking me my the shoulders and spinning me around to face the mirror. I could see her in the mirror, shaking her head. "Screw you."

I had to laugh. "What?"

"Your body rocks."

I felt the heat in my face. "Kim -"

"It does!" She gathered the many strands of my long, thick, dark hair, pulling them away from my face and over my shoulders. "If you wore your hair back more, people could actually see your beautiful face." Kim sighed, almost dreamily. "If only."

"You know I like my hair down." I didn't have a major reason, but it was definitely a preference.

Kim moved on, knowing she couldn't change my mind. "Get the top. Treat yourself." She wasn't convincing me on that either.

"No."

She huffed. "Fine." She grabbed a lacy, red bra from a nearby table, holding it over my chest. "Maybe a little something for someone else then?"

I stared at the detailed fabric, the colour making it nearly impossible to not stare at. My gaze quickly shifted to the big window at the front of the store, where many people walked along the sidewalk, very able of looking in and seeing this, and Kim knew that. "Kim!" I quickly pulling the bra from her grasp, stepping out of view from the window.

She laughed loudly, catching the bra when I threw it her way. He laughter faded into a smug facial expression. "Don't be coy, Nina. Every one knows what you and Paul are up to."

I shook my head, unable to come up with any kind of reply. I went into the change room, shutting the curtain behind me. As I took the shirt off, I thought about Paul. Know that Kim mentioned him, I wouldn't be able to rid him from my mind.

"Hurry up!" Kim yelled from outside. "We've got more stores to go to."

I wish there were less stores in Port Angeles.

Despite my hurting arms and sore feet, Kim and I walked up and down the main street until we had nearly done all the store that Kim wanted to go to.

I was walking along, enjoying the sun and the crowds of people. It was sunnier it Port Angeles, and much busier, but not in an off-putting sense. It just buzzed a little bit more, unlike La Push which always was a bit more dull. Even though I could do without all the shopping, I enjoyed coming to Port Angeles. It was good to get away every once in a while, especially lately.

Harry Clearwater had a heart attack. It caused an already rainy La Push seem a little bit darker, a little bit wetter, and much sadder. The Quileute community mourned him, but none as much as Leah and Seth Clearwater, Harry's kids. The tragic event changed them in many ways - it caused both of them to shift. Leah surprised everyone - the first girl to shift. And Seth - he was just so young.

Sam was quick to take the both of them in. Seth's transition was easy. You could tell that being around other people who knew what he was going through was helping him. You could tell that being around the boys made him feel better about his father. Leah was much harder to read. Maybe it was her father's passing, or becoming a werewolf, or her obvious dislike for Sam, but she seemed angry all the time; angry and sad. It made me sad for her.

I tried my best to have Leah be involved with me and Emily, but she never agreed. I even asked her to come with Kim and I today, which I knew she would say no to - which she did - but I asked anyway to make her feel included. I tried everything and nothing seemed to work, but it didn't matter because I would keep trying. Leah needed other people that weren't the just the boys. She needed to get away and relax. The whole pack could do with a little relaxing.

I was never told much, but I knew there were vampires in the area - some that seemed like threats and others that weren't. The Cullens were back in town. Though the pack seemed to have a pretty strong dislike for them, they weren't the main point of concern. There was another red-headed vampire that the boys always complained about. They were looking for her, hunting her, chasing her constantly. They couldn't catch her. Jared would tell me about how the red-headed vampire would jump across the long river that split two parts of the land - Quileute territory and Cullen territory. She would jump back and forth, and still, even with the Cullens chasing her too, she always slipped out of their grasp.

The Cullens being back - or better phrased as Edward Cullen being back - had Jacob on edge especially. He said that Bella was in love with him and couldn't see him for who he really was, which Jake chalked up to being an evil, blood-sucking monster. I tried a more objective view, which was simply that a girl had fallen in love with a guy who turned out to be a vampire. I knew how Jake felt about Bella. It was so obvious, I think everyone knew how he felt. The way everyone talked about it, Edward seemed to know how he felt about Bella too. The only person who didn't seem to know was Bella - her strong feelings with Edward and her push and pull friendship with Jake.

I didn't want to be involved, but after Jake had forgiven me for keeping everything from him, he talked me through all of his emotions. Him confiding in me stuck me in a mess I wanted no part in. Despite my annoyance with that, I wanted Jake to be happy, so I sat and I listened and I gave what I thought was good advice, which Jake never seemed to listen to.

I still remembered that one conversation.

_"She just doesn't know it. She doesn't understand what life is like without him and what is **could **be with me."_

_I nodded, sitting on the same small stool I had months ago when he was fixing up his bike. He was so different then. Long hair and light-hearted. Now that Jake knew about vampires - knew about the Cullens, it was like he permanent state was something of anger and bitterness. _

_As if Bella being in love with another person wasn't torture enough for him, that person was a vampire - something that was ingrained in his blood to despise more than anything. _

_Yeah, so, Jake was having a rough time with it._

_"I know you want her to understand, Jake, but you can't make her." It was shitty, but it was the truth. "She'll hear what she wants to hear and see what she wants to see. If she thinks Edward Cullen is her heart and soul, you might find it hard pressed to change that."_

_Jake shook his head, big hands landing on the table. All the muscles in his arm tensed and rippled. He was beautiful, but full of so much anger. "You don't know what it's like when I'm with her." He started to soften up. He always did when he talked about her. "She...smiles. She laughs. I've never seen her do that with him."_

_It was on the edge of insane. He sounded like a crazy person trying to convince every one that something we had never seen was real - like Bigfoot or something. But it was Jake. He wasn't crazy, he wasn't delusional, and even though I had never seen Bella look at Jake the way he looked at her, I had sat with the two of them for months building those bikes. I could see a little bit of what Jake saw, and I could understand why. _

_Why wouldn't she be attracted to Jake? He was very attractive. They got along great. They've known each other since they were just kids. They're families were close. It seemed like a package deal, if you didn't look at any of the details._

_The only reason Bella started hanging out with Jake was because Edward left, and now that he was back, it seemed like she had hardly the time for Jake._

_Jake mentioned more than once to me that she was transfixed by him and if he could just make her see..._

_There was a lot of 'if's in all of Jacob's scenarios._

_I sighed heavily, out of words for him. I often felt like I was repeating myself in these conversations. "I don't know, man," I said honestly. My advice had run out for the moment. And so had my time. "I have to run. Jared, Kim, Paul and I got a movie to catch. You want to come?"_

_"With the imprinted Brady bunch?" Jake was quick to pick up a wrench, tossing it in the air and catching it with more ease than I had ever seen, his eye on me the whole time. He smiled. "I'll pass."_

_I never brought up imprinting, and Jake rarely did either, though I was sure it was on his mind a lot._

_"Suit yourself." I stood, wiping my jeans for any evidence of leftover dirt. "Just sit here in your big, old shop all by your lonesome, fixing up **more **stuff that'll probably never -" Jake threw an oily towel my way, in the hopes that I would stop teasing him. I barely dodged and then I pointed a finger his way. "Not cool, J."_

_He laughed, head falling down, immediately starting to work away on his new project._

_I was at least glad he was keeping busy. When he was with the boys, he had a break of thinking of Bella. When he was working on a project, I hoped he had too much going on to think about Bella. It was when he was alone that I worried._

_Before I left the shop, I nodded to him. "Call me tomorrow. Let's do something."_

_"Just the two of us this time," Jake said to me, the look on his face a reminder enough about how much him and Paul could annoy each other. "I don't want a repeat of last time."_

_I sighed, very dramatically as I neared the door. "It's just so much easier to have my two boyfriends in one place."_

_To that, we both laughed, and I counted that as a good visit to a good friend._

There were moments of normality - moments of the typical, high school senior, hanging out with friends type of stuff. Those were pretty small moments in comparison to the bigger picture, and everyone knew it.

Safe to say, everyone was wound up pretty tight, which caused secondary stress for everyone who hung around them. Emily, Kim, and I were stressed out. For Kim, being stressed meant shopping.

"Aren't you so glad to be out here?" Kim held her arms out, closing her arms and breathing in deeply. "Enjoying the fresh air -" She kept her eyes closed, swinging her arms around. "Getting away from all the chaos?"

I yanked her to the side, barely avoiding Kim accidentally smacking a stranger. "Oh, yeah. So relaxing."

Finally, she opened her eyes, only to glare at me. "Nina, I'm serious." Her expression softened. "Jared's been so stressed out and so busy with this whole thing and I've been stressed and busy with school and I feel like..." Her arm that was looped through mine shook a little bit. "I don't know, I feel like we're not the same. It's not normal."

"Normal?" I shook my head, not being able to come up with a definition of what that even was. "What's normal anymore, Kim? I think all of what's happening makes it okay to go through a rough patch. The kind of pressure that Jared is under, we couldn't begin to imagine."

"I know." She sighed. "I just miss having all day to spend with him. I miss having him all to myself."

I pulled my arm from her, putting it around her shoulders instead. I tried not to laugh at her pouting, doing my best to be sympathetic. "You know, it's still gross me out how in love you guys are."

"Tell Jared that. Maybe he'll remember."

I rolled my eyes, making sure that she could see. I laughed at her reaction, tugging on her arm and pulling her further down that walkway, toward the water. "Don't be such a baby, Kim. Let's relax by the water. It'll take your mind off of it."

She nodded solemnly, walking with me down the street, closer and closer to the chilled air of the ocean.

* * *

I read down the page of the textbook, twirling my pencil around my fingers. I was sitting on the steps of Emily and Sam's. I wanted to be outside and I found that the edge of the reserve a lot quieter and relaxing. It was warming up. It was cloudy, but not too many clouds, allowing the sun to peek out every once in a while. The bottom up my jeans were rolled up and I was wearing a t-shirt.

I felt relaxed - at home.

The stomping of a pair of feet made that relaxing energy dissolve fast enough, especially once I had looked up and saw who it was.

I offered a smile, knowing there would not be one in return. "Hey, Leah."

She nodded at me, lips in a tight line. She wasn't very tall, but her short and sleeveless shirt she had on displayed the bigger than average muscles in her legs and arms, as if Leah wasn't already intimidating enough.

"Why aren't you with the boys?"

She passed me, walking up the steps. "Why do I always have to be with the boys?"

I turned on the steps, watching her walk into the house, door already open. "Leah, I didn't mean -" She didn't stop to hear me out, so I stood and followed her into the house. "Leah, wait."

The quietness of the house was filled with the sound of both of our bare feet slapping against the hardwood. Leah walked into the kitchen, opening the fridge with a force that rattled every item in the shelves of the door. After she grabbed an apple, she turned the sink to wash it, barely glancing over her shoulder at me.

"Weren't you doing homework?"

"I didn't mean anything about what I said. I was just asking -"

"I know," Leah said harshly. A small second later, she sighed loudly, her shoulders slumping over as she turned of the sink. She turned around slowly, leaning against the counter, apple in hand. "I didn't mean to snap at you."

"It's okay," I was surprised how soft and comforting the words came out. Emily was rubbing off on me. I moved to lean against the counter myself, setting my textbook down on the wooden surface. "Couldn't stand them anymore, is that it?"

Leah shook her head. "I don't know how you do it. You're around all the time, by _choice. _I have to be and I feel like my head is going to explode."

I chuckled, shrugging my shoulders a little bit. "They're all like family to me. Jared and Paul are my best friends. None of what has happened changed that for me."

"Yeah, well, everything changed for me."

I looked at her. She was so angry - at Sam, at Emily, at the whole transformation, probably at herself too. Everything that went through her head and then she had no choice but to involuntarily share that with the pack.

I moved a little closer, sliding against the counter. "Leah...I can't imagine what you've gone through the past month. I can't even begin to understand, so I know I can't say anything that'll actually help, but I guess I just want you to know that..." I paused, wondering if she was even listening to anything I was saying. I looked up into her eyes, seeing that they were looking at me intensely. "I'm glad you and Seth and here. I know the situation is the least ideal, but I wouldn't want you both to be alone and going through this. They've all really helped and supported one another. I know they're trying to do the same for you, if you let them."

She still stared at me, expression unchanged. "I know it's a small enough reserve that I'd have to see Sam and Emily, but I never thought -" She looked down at the ground and then back up at me, angrier than before. "I have to be with them all the time. I have to hear Sam's thoughts. He has to hear mine. I'm sure the boys get a kick out of it."

My heart ached. "Leah..."

"I thought I would have time to mourn my father, but Seth and I are too deep into this pack - patrolling and training and listening to orders and obeying." She tightened her hand around the apple, tight enough that it exploded into pieces, covering the surfaces a couple feet around her. "There's been no time to process or figure things out." She tossed what was left of the apple in the sink.

Both of us looked outside, the familiar sound of a group of loud boys approaching quickly.

"If you'll excuse me." She walked toward me quickly, but shifted so that she wouldn't run into me. I heard her on the porch and then the trees rustled and she was gone.

Not that way I wanted that to go, but sort of what I expected. That was the most Leah had talked to me since she's been around. That was the most she had opened up to anyone and been honest since she shifted. She would be hurting for a long time and she would be angry for a while. I hoped that the conversation did something to help, but I wasn't too optimistic about it.

I crossed my arms lazily over my stomach, looking out the window at the rustling trees. The very sudden sound of my textbook sliding from the table came from behind me. I whipped around, just catching sight of Jared as he ran outside. "Jared!" I ran after him, past Sam and Quil. I burst out the front door, make running down the steps and across the newly coming grass.

"Not so fast." A pair of strong arms wrapped around me, holding me back.

I struggled against Paul, doing my best to fend him off. My struggling was tiring and it seemed to have no effect of Paul whatsoever. I stopped struggling, watching desperately as Jared stood a couple feet from my, my textbook in his hands. "Why are you guys always bugging me?"

Jared laughed loudly, holding my textbook carelessly. "You're such a square, Nina."

"I'm not a -" I stopped, deciding against arguing. I realized Paul's arms were still around me, but loose. I unlocked his loose grip, stepping away and glaring at the both of them. "I need to do my homework to graduate, not that the two of you would know."

They still rarely came to school. At this rate, it was unlikely they would graduate. They didn't seem bothered in the least, despite this one thing effecting their entire future.

Jared shook my textbook. "I'm taking this hostage tonight."

I gave him a confused look. "Why?" I glanced between Paul and Jared, becoming more suspicious rather than curious. "Why exactly?"

Paul chuckled lightly, coming at me faster than I could register, placing his big hands on the sides of my face. "So we can do something fun." His hands moved closer, squishing my face together for a brief moment to tease me.

I pushed him away, watching him smile in satisfaction. "You guys won't be on patrol?"

"We will," Jared said, tossing my textbook through the window of Paul's truck. He took a couple of big strides toward me and Paul, walking past us into the house. "But not until way late."

Paul and I turned to follow him.

"We were thinking a movie."

"Is Kim coming?" I walked up the steps with Paul, stopping in front of the front door and smirking at him. "I'm not going unless Kim goes."

Paul's dark eyes became playful, a smile coming to his lips as he turned his shoulders to face mine. He walked toward me slowly, intimidatingly. "You would put your biology textbook in danger?"

I laughed, reaching up and curling my hand around the back of his neck, knowing that if I took a step back and turned, my back would hit the front of the house. That was what I did, tugging Paul closer. "You know I would've said yes no matter what."

Paul came closer, the tip of his nose touching mine. The heat from his body rolled of him, hitting my ten times harder when his hands landed on my waist. "Can't risk it." He leaned down, pressing his lips to mine firmly.

Both of my arms went around his neck, tugging him closer.

If I thought I had no self control before, I had way less now. I couldn't stop touching him or kissing him or wanting to be near him. It was annoying. I used to be annoyed by people like me, and now I was one of them. I couldn't find it in me to care anymore.

"Nina..."

Paul and I separated and I looked at the front door, seeing Embry's tall and lanky body leaned against the house, arms over his chest, smiling my way. "Em."

His eyebrows rose. "Can I be next?"

Embry ran, anticipating Paul coming for him, which was exactly what happened. I watched Embry head for the woods, Paul hot on his trail.

I laughed, turning and walking into the house, taking a seat at the rounded table, next to Quil.

"Was Leah here?"

I nodded to Sam, leaning back into the wooden chair. "Yeah. She seemed upset."

Jared scoffed. "She's always pissed about something."

I shot a look at Quil. "I said upset, not angry." I grabbed a piece of banana bread from the center of the table, looking at the three of them. "You guys should be nicer to her." I couldn't help to look to Sam.

Everyone could hear Leah's thoughts, but everyone could hear Sam's too. Jared said he felt bad about everything that had happened. I imagined this was just as hard for Sam as it was Leah. It was hard for Sam, but at least he had someone to lean on - he had Emily.

Quil grabbed a piece of banana bread also. "We try. Seth is a lot easier to get along with. I wish he were here."

"He has to study," Sam said strongly. With Seth being so young, Sam was firm in his ordering of Seth to stay in school as if nothing had happened, joining the rest of the pack whenever he was done with his homework.

"How is everything going?" I asked, sort of timidly, glancing at Sam. "With the vampire?"

"She's pretty fast and hard to catch," Quil said honestly.

"But not impossible," Jared added, taking a piece of bread too. He nodded toward me, seeming unfazed as well as confident. "We'll get her."

"Us or the Cullens." Sam had his arms crossed over his chest, leaning against the counter. The hard look on his face was almost unreadable. I didn't know if his tolerance for the vampires was more tolerable or if he was just trying to keep a level-head in front of the other boys, but he wasn't as vocal about the vampires. He rarely talked about them or what was going on with them.

Embry practically fell through the door, catching himself at the last moment. Back to us, he held his arms up, laughing loudly. "I surrender, man, I'm done."

Paul walked in after him, pushing him by the shoulder, laughing also. "You better be, Call, unless you want me to take you down again."

Embry sighed, sitting down at the table, across from me, looking at me. "Maybe in another life, Nina."

Embry joked around a lot. He kept things light. I appreciated him more than he would ever know, especially in these times.

Paul took the empty chair next to me, his arm resting on the back of my chair. "Wouldn't get your hopes up."


	11. 10

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Twilight Saga

* * *

10 - late may

I was only at Emily's on a school day because it was lunch and Emily was making chicken - wings, to be specific. Every one could agree that Emily made the best chicken, in any form that it came. All of us were very much enjoying ourselves. All of us as in Sam, Jared, Paul, Leah, Embry, Quil, Emily, and myself.

It was really starting to warm up. It was cloudy, but the sun would poke through every now and then. Emily had on a nice short-sleeved, pink shirt. Of course the boys were all shirtless. Maybe it was that, or Emily's top, or just being surrounded by the pack, but it felt warmer to me.

The weather was getting better. The house was clean and pretty much everyone I cared about was in it. Graduation was coming up soon. Life was good, at least in that moment in that time.

Paul's arms tightened around my shoulders, bringing my attention to him. His brows were furrowed at me, mouth half full of delicious chicken. "You okay?"

I leaned into him, bumping into him with my shoulder. "Could you chew with you mouth closed?" I glanced up at him to see his mouth shutting slowly.

"Anything for you, sweetheart," Paul said, a little too sweet for me to believe the sentiment was genuine.

I laughed lightly, placing my hand over his warm leg, my fingers stretching to the inside of his thigh. I looked into his eyes, both of our smiles simultaneously widening. "You wanna try that again?"

Now with his mouth completely empty, he gave me a toothy smile. "Anything for you, Nina," he said again, voice low and quiet for just me to hear. He leaned closer, his lips barely brushing against mine.

The chatter in the house was overpowered by Jared's voice.

"Stop!" Jared groaned. "I can't even look."

Paul leaned away from me, straightening in his chair. He reached out, shoving a laughing Jared by the shoulder. "Then close your eyes."

"Do we all have to close our eyes then?" Leah, who was standing closer to the door, not eating, said.

I smiled at Leah, despite her very off-putting expression. "Come on, Leah. Sit down and eat at least."

She turned her head, looking out the window by her. "I'm not hungry." Her muscular arms were crossed over her leaned body, hugging herself tightly. Half of her cropped hair was pulled back, fully displaying the displeased look on her face.

Embry, who was closest to Leah, looked over his shoulder. "Ah, come on, Lee." He stood from his chair, all eyes on him as he moved to stand next to Leah. "Don't you want a wing?" He shook his half eaten chicken wing to her.

Leah was quick to turn, swinging her arm. Embry was that much quicker, ducking just in time. He leaned up straight, him laughing the loudest while the other boys merely chuckled. Embry kept his eyes on her, stepping backward to sit on his chair.

I was close enough to reach out and pull Embry's chair out from him just as he moved to sit down. Embry fell to the floor, head nearly missing the rounded table, not like it would have hurt him anyway. I couldn't see, but I could hear the thud as he hit the floor.

The laughter that filled the kitchen was loud.

As I laughed, I glanced at Leah, who was an uncharacteristic smile on her face. I looked back to Embry, watching him stand from the floor. "Doesn't feel too good does it, Em?"

"You think you're good." Embry pulled his chair up, sitting down on it, reaching forward for another wing. He looked at me, his straight hair not able to cover his mischievous eyes. "You'll get yours, Nina - one day."

I feigned an expression of fright. "Ooo, I'm shaking!"

Quil started up, always on Embry's side, "I wouldn't get too cocky, Nina. Embry's got a couple of tricks up his sleeve."

Jared scoffed at that, raising his eleventh chicken wing to his mouth. "There are scarier things than Embry out there." He took a big bite of the wing, speaking with his mouth half full. No manners. "I can't believe she got away last night."

Embry shook his head, eating his own wing. "She wouldn't have gotten away if -"

"That's enough," Sam interrupted and the table fell silent.

My head slowly shifted over to Paul. I couldn't control the expression on my face in that moment, but I knew it was anything but friendly. "Ah, the _misunderstanding_."

Last night both the pack and the Cullens were chasing down Victoria, the redheaded vampire. It sounded like a pretty good chase - fast, with the vampire jumping from one side to another, escaping at any point she could. On one of her leaps onto the pack's territory, one of the Cullens followed, but his feet never even touched the ground. Paul was on him fast, knocking him into the water that separated the two territories.

At a lot of points in time, I could never tell what was most important to Paul, or any of the boys for that matter - getting the one vampire that was threatening to Bella as well as to Forks, or to keep the ancient treaty rules standing between them and the Cullens.

The boys didn't describe it this way, but it sounded like Paul and the other Cullen vampire made both sides stop to make sure nothing detrimental was going to happen, letting Victoria get away even easier than any other time.

I was mad at Paul for being mad, even though I knew it was unfair. I was also mad at him for letting his strong hatred for the Cullens specifically get in the way of what he always told me the pack was working towards. I also couldn't stand to know that he was putting himself in danger, so I was mad at that too.

"That's what everyone's calling it," Paul said, removing his arm from the back of my chair. He could laugh with Jared about it now, but Sam told me not to come around last night because Paul was...angry. He said angry but I knew he meant furiously raging, as in too dangerous for me to be around.

I knew Paul was better with his anger and getting better constantly. I didn't see him the way I used to anymore - so irritated and ready for anything to set him off. But I knew it was still there. Regardless, I never felt scared around him. I felt scared _for_ him, though - that he would get angry and get himself into trouble.

The rumble of Jake's fixed up bike alerted everyone. It became really loud, just outside, and then it stopped completely. I was sure the boys could hear everything, but all I could hear was Jake and a soft voice I could only guess was Bella. The boys stood up and started out the door. I followed, but much slower.

The whole pack had told me that Bella was all Jake thought about. Even if the pack hadn't told me, I would've known. The way Jake talked about her and how often he talked about her. It was cute, maybe a little worrying, but innocently adorable. It only made the fact that she would inevitably become a vampire - the main source of hatred around here - that much worse.

The boys bounded down the steps and Embry was the first one to speak.

"Hey, look who's back!" All the boys were standing in front of Bella and Jake while I leaned against the doorway. Embry spoke again. "I'm glad you're here, Bella. Maybe we can get a break from Jake's obsessive inner monologue."

Paul grabbed Jake's arm and shook it teasingly. "I wish Bella would call."

Jared, chicken still in hand, joined in. "I wish Bella wouldn't call!"

Embry, of course. "Maybe I should call Bella."

And Quil. "Maybe I should call Bella and hang up."

And then all of them proceeded to laugh. They were old enough to know better, but when they were all together in a pack, they all acted like they were five.

I was laughing too, when Leah moved past me. "Lee -" I didn't catch her before she hopped down the steps.

"Alright..." Jake started, a blush on his cheeks, smile tight. "You can shut up now." Leah made it to the group, her usual expression on her face. She stopped in front of Bella and the whole interaction became tense, even as Jake introduced her. "Bella, this is Leah Clearwater, Harry's daughter."

Bella's face fell, though it always seemed somber. "Hey, I'm really sorry about your father."

It was genuine, but that didn't touch Leah in anyway. She just said back, "If you're here to torture Jacob some more, feel free to leave." And then she ran toward the trees with not a second glance.

"Fun, isn't she?" Jacob said.

I shook my head, walking down the steps. When my eyes connected with Bella, I smiled. "Hey." I wrapped my arms around her, naturally, though it took her a second to reciprocate.

Bella leaned away when I did. "You were able to save your ankle, huh?"

I looked down at my perfectly fine ankle and then back at her. "Thankfully."

"Bella, hi," Emily's soft voice came from behind all of us. She walked closer to Bella, Sam close behind, and she repeated almost the same actions as I had as she reached out and hugged Bella. "I was wondering when we'd see your face around here again."

"Yeah, same here."

Jake was looking at Sam - quite intensely, I would add. "Sam, we good?"

Sam had the same look as he put his arm around Emily. "We're good. She won't be getting through our line anytime soon."

Cheers came from the boys. Now that they were rested and fed, they were happy, especially when hearing that good news. It was time for them to celebrate, I guessed, as all of them started to run off, heading for the trees.

I watched them go until they all disappeared and then I sighed, taking a step back towards the house. "Finally. Some peace and quiet." I looked at Bella. "Come inside. There might be a muffin or two left, if we're lucky."

We all turned to go inside the house, Sam chuckling a little. "Don't get your hopes up."

* * *

I was at Jared's kitchen table, like usual, doing homework. I was flipped through my chemistry textbook to prepare for the lab on Monday when I decided that I could've used - no..._deserved _a break. The boys were out doing whatever they were doing without even thinking about homework, school, graduating, grades - none of it.

I stood from the chair to stretch and texted Kim, walking around to enter the kitchen. I set my phone down on the table, next to the bowl that had all of the Cameron household 'grab before you go to the door' items. Beside that bowl was a small stack of mail, with a bright yellow paper sticking out from the bottom.

Curiously, I grabbed it, pulling out what I discovered to be a pamphlet. It had big blue letters written across the top of it; UofW. University of Washington, in Seattle. Immediately, my head was swarmed with questions. Was this Jared's? Was he planning on going to college or university? If he was, he was thinking about University of Washington? If he wanted to go to post-secondary, he would've needed to get his grades way up, which would've required him to, oh, I don't know, actually attend.

Of course, none of that mattered if it was really just Jared's mom picking it up for him while she was there for work. None of it mattered if it wasn't Jared's and Jared didn't care. None of it would've mattered anyway because Jared would never qualify with his current grades. Neither would Paul, or any of the boys.

What was their plan, anyway?

I mean, I had applied to a lot of places, at my mom's request. Port Angeles Community College, some universities in Seattle, as well as colleges. I also applied to some schools in California, which I knew was a stretch, but still. I also applied for the same volunteering program that I did last summer. It would be going to Ecuador instead of Tanzania, and it was not going to be just the summer; it was going to be six months of my life, starting in August. Though that appealed to me a lot more than my other options, I never took Paul into account at all in any of those decisions because I made them all before I had to we were even a 'we'.

The more I thought about it, the more I stressed. I opened the pamphlet and started to read to keep me occupied.

_The UW is one of the world's preeminent public universities. Our impact on individuals, our region and the world is profound — whether we are launching young people into a boundless future or confronting the grand challenges -_

I quickly shut the pamphlet, feeling an overwhelming weight on my chest, like I couldn't breathe. I looked outside of the big windows in the living room, right into the dark forest. The air seemed crisper, nicer somehow now that I couldn't breathe. I bolted for the door, swinging it open and taking in a big, deep breath.

Relief - that was what I felt.

After a couple seconds of long, deep breathing, I closed the door behind me, walking a little ways in front of the house to the hammock attached between two giant trees. I pulled the hammock apart and took a seat, taking a couple more deep breaths.

I didn't know if I could stay in La Push or Forks for the rest of my life, but Paul obviously wasn't going to school, not at this rate. What would happen then? What would happen if I wanted to go away, but Paul never wanted to leave?

When I felt hands on my shoulders, I jumped up quickly, heart pounding in my ears. "Jesus!" I stood up and spun around, catching sight of Paul standing behind me. My hand touched my chest, hoping it would calm my heartbeat. "You scared me."

"You shouldn't be outside," Paul said to me, walking around the hammock and taking me by the arm, already walking toward the house. "It's not safe."

"It's fine out here."

"Really?" Paul let go of me and stood in front of me. His face was serious, not yet angry. "That thing was in Bella's room just a couple days ago. It's getting braver by the second."

It concerned me - not for me, but for Bella. I shook my head to dismiss him. "And you think it would go out of its way to attack me? It doesn't want me."

Paul shook his head too, but out of annoyance. He turned and walked toward the house and I followed. The muscles in his back tensed as he opened the door. "That thing will do whatever it wants. If it came across you, sitting out there, looking delicious, you think it wouldn't want to feed?"

I chuckled, closing the front door behind me. Paul whipped around at the sound of my laughter and I held up two very defensive hands. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? I won't _ever _go outside _ever _again."

The corners of Paul's lips went up, despite not wanting them to. He stepped close to me, putting his warming hands on either side of my face. "Why you gotta be such a smart ass, huh?"

I leaned in. "You love it." Our lips brushed up against one another's before I pulled away, pushing at his chest to put some distance between us. Paul groaned and I laughed, gesturing to my book on the table. "I've got important things to do."

"Nerd."

I grabbed my phone and then sat down at the table. "Mature." I checked my phone, but didn't see any messages. I then realized that Jared wasn't with Paul, which probably meant he was with Kim, which was definitely the reason she wasn't texting back. I huffed, putting my phone face down on the table. "Lab on Monday."

Paul sat down next to me, not showing any recognition for the assignment. "So?"

"So...I'll let you borrow my notes," I sang to him, shaking the pieces of paper filled with writing in front of his face. "That's how generous I am."

"I'm not gonna make it." Paul had said exactly what I thought he was going to say, not what I hoped he would say. "We're keeping up with patrolling Bella. You know how it goes."

I couldn't have imagined it was really a fun job, It was just staring at the Swan household, making sure that whatever snuck into her room a couple days ago didn't come back. The Cullen's switched with the wolves to make sure everyone got fed and well-rested. It was nice that everyone was working together, but, still, it didn't seem like a good time.

"How is it?"

"Boring," Paul said honestly. I couldn't blame him. "And stressful. I just want to relax." Paul reached up and pushed my hair from my face and neck, leaning in and kissing the tender spot below my ear briefly. And then again.

"Paul..." I lost the grip on my pencil, letting it fall into the crease of my textbook. I closed my eyes, the feeling too good to not give almost completely in. I still managed to protest. "Paul, I have to get...this write-up - it has to get done before..." I felt Paul's tongue on my neck and then his teeth. I needed another excuse and fast. "We're in Jared's house..."

It was empty and there was a guest bedroom that no one ever used...but that was not the point!

Paul grabbed my chair and pulled me to him, closing any distance that was between us. His other hand came up to hold the other side of my neck to ensure I would go anywhere. Between kisses, he whispered against my neck, "Come on, Nina. I'll give you a massage."

I smiled, eyes still closed, still enjoying. "I thought _you _were the one so desperate to relax."

He leaned away far enough to look in my eyes, which I opened to look at him. "Then you massage me." He smiled. "I'm not picky, baby."

With a shove of his shoulder, our lips reconnected. There would be no massages, only the very quiet, very private guest bedroom of Jared'd house.


End file.
